Agony Aunt

Patricia Marie, MBACP qualified counsellor is a member of The British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy, practising in Harley Street, Essex and Scotland. She has many years experience of dealing with domestic violence, relationship problems, bereavement, depression, addictions, post traumatic stress and many other emotional issues. If you have a dilemma, please email Patricia.Marie@lady.co.uk

Anxious about dating

Posted by Patricia_Marie
Patricia_Marie
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on Friday, 09 May 2014
Dear Patricia Marie,
 
I am a 55 year old divorced lady, and after 20 years of marriage am now ready to start looking to meet a gentleman, but I am worried about joining a dating website. Although I am wanting to, I am scared that the date could be a disaster and am concerned at the type of man that I may attract, and on meeting him he may be different from how he appears online.
 
However, If I sit back and do nothing I may never meet a partner to share the rest of my life with. I am just looking for some guidance and direction regarding this dilemma I have.
 
Patricia Marie says...

Your concerns with regards to joining a dating agency are completely understandable after the familiarity of being married to the same man for many years.  However, life is about taking risks and you are the only one who can promote change and make things happen.

I am thinking your urgency to meet a man whom you are wanting to share the rest of your life with is causing much anxiety, and putting you under intense pressure for something that may not happen, and you could be setting yourself up for disappointment.

Can you allow yourself to embrace this new chapter in your life by focussing on having some fun and good times with like-minded people?  When selecting potential dates, ensure you get to know as much as you can about each other before meeting, this will help eliminate time wasters. If you do experience some unsuccessful dates, use this as a positive discovery in knowing what you do want in someone, and your confidence will soon grow. I would also recommend if you have any interests or hobbies, that you join a club where they may be incorporated, which will increase your chances of finding your Mr. Right.

It may take time to meet someone you are attracted to and want to spend more time with, but if you can trust that the journey is as important as the destination, you will enjoy and value the experience more.


Got a dilemma? Please email Patricia.Marie@lady.co.uk  Please note, while Patricia cannot respond to all emails, she does read them all.

In need of further support? Patricia Marie offers a counselling service in Harley Street, contact details as follows
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