The Lady Bloggers

My friend doesn't support me

Posted by Patricia_Marie
Patricia_Marie
Guest has not set their biography yet
User is currently offline
on Friday, 08 September 2017
Dear Patricia Marie,

I've had this friend for years - since we were at college together. And I always thought we'd be there for each other through thick and thin. Three years ago, she went through a terribly messy divorce and I supported her. Then, last year I found out my husband had been cheating on me, and after trying to work through it naturally, I went to my friend for sympathy. But she turned on me, telling me I was dragging her down and asking too much of her. We're still friends, but the closeness has completely gone. Was I wrong to have expected more from her?

Patricia Marie says...

You weren't wrong to expect more from your friend at all, but you may have to accept that she wasn't necessarily rejecting you when she let you down. Sometimes people can't be how we would like them to be, or act in the way we'd prefer them to. For you, it hurts because it feels personal, almost as if your friend decided you didn't deserve her help. But in reality, her behaviour is about her, not you. It sounds like your unhappiness, in a situation so like her own, dramatically brought back her grief and pain.

When we want to offload, we have to take some responsibility. Just because we want to get angry and upset, it doesn't mean that our friends are able to deal with us being this way, especially if they have issues that they are trying to deal with, which we may be ignoring because we are too focused with what's bothering us. While friends can, and should, be there for us when we need their support, often a professional can give us the care we really need to move on. Perhaps if your friend had gone for counselling as well as asking for your help, she might have been able to put her sadness aside and been there for you - and now not feel so guilty about failing you, which I suspect is what the distance is about.

I believe you may benefit from some counselling yourself to help you move forward with this situation. Hopefully, once you start to feel better you'll be able to forgive her and that closeness will return.

The British association of Counselling and Psychotherapy have a directory where you can find a qualified therapist in your area. www.bacp.co.uk 01455 883300
Tags: Untagged

Morv Moon Launch at The Trafalgar St James

Posted by Young Ladies About Town
Young Ladies About Town
Fiona Hicks has not set their biography yet
User is currently offline
on Thursday, 07 September 2017
by Annette Kellow

When I was told I would be spending the morning relaxing in luxury Morv pyjamas, trying a new facial from 111 Skin whilst sampling breakfast at The Traflagar Hotel St James, my excitement scale was definitely on the higher level.

After all, the newly refurbished Trafalgar St James with its elegant suites and sumptuous furnishings has had excellent online reviews whilst I am a huge fan of anything to do with skincare, fashion and general pampering!

Stepping into the spacious suite I was introduced to the uber glamorous Morvarid Sahafi, the designer and founder of Morv London.

Her new silk satin pyjamas line is a luxury collection available in eight different prints and designs. All styles come with a detachable hood that doubles as an eye mask. Morv got the idea when she was travelling a lot and found the elastic on eye masks often tight and digging in. She also wanted to sleep in comfort whilst keeping the look chic too.

I opted for a pair of polka dot pyjamas which as soon as trying on felt like pure silk on my skin. This teamed with some freshly made fruit granola and relaxing on the king size bed I was in near heaven!

Unknown

All of Morv's designs are made to spread awareness in society, often featuring female empowerment icons such as Joan of Arc and the Suffragettes.

She also uses natural based dyes, ecologically smart fabrics and 5% of her annual profits go to a chosen charity. Not only that but her designs are simply put works of art, her attention to detail and craftsmanship is second to none and her collection is curated with a woman's life in mind.

As well as her elegant pyjamas I also got to see a selection of her dresses. These featured a Harlequin party dress, burgundy velvet pieces as well as a sequinned jacket, perfect for the festive season.

But it didn't stop there! Next I was treated to a Lightfinity Express facial by Alice Jenkins from Harley Streets 111 Skin clinic. It involved a serum infused mask smoothed onto my skin followed by a frame which pulses LED lights to rejuvenate and freshen. This heats up slightly, working into the skin whilst I kept the serum on all day to protect even further.

111 skin also has its own range of products which is developed for sensitive skin, their most well known one called the 'Dramatic Healing Serum.'

All of this in such a wonderfully located hotel, the Trafalgar St James. I could quite see myself reclining on the bed all day in comfortable pyjamas sampling more of the hotels delicacies but alas it was time to leave.

As the famous quote says, 'Luxury must be comfortable, otherwise it is not luxury.' And Morv London is a wonderful combination of the two.
Tags: Untagged

I'm worried my friend will get hurt

Posted by Patricia_Marie
Patricia_Marie
Guest has not set their biography yet
User is currently offline
on Friday, 01 September 2017
Dear Patricia Marie,

A friend of mine has recently set up a joint account and is planning on buying a house with a man she met on the internet just three months ago. He seems nice enough, but my husband and I have noticed he has some serious money issues and lies a lot, for example when he told her he has never been engaged before when in fact he has. He has become friendly with my husband and tells him things that are different to what he tells my friend. She is completely in love with him and is planning their entire future, oblivious to his financial situation. I don't know what I should do. I can't tell her anything my husband has told me about him as I don't want to spoil their friendship or be in the middle. Also, I'm worried it's none of my business. However, I'm struggling to sit back and do nothing when I'm worried this man might hurt her, am I overreacting and should I just ignore it? Please help. Thank you.

Patricia Marie says...

You are concerned that you don't wish to jeopardise your husband's friendship with this man, yet they have only known each other for a few months, and in this time he has lied about both personal and financial matters, so perhaps discord between them is preferable, to protect your friend from making a huge mistake with him.

However, please remember, your friend is in love with this man, and may be in denial if told something she doesn't want to believe. Rather than being seen as caring and loyal for disclosing this information, you might be construed as a troublemaker, which could cause you great anguish, despite your good intentions.

Although I do understand your wish to enlighten, you may risk your friendship in the process. Nevertheless, you could have a candid discussion with your friend and explain how worried you are that she is verging on a huge commitment with a man she barely knows. Suggest she checks his authenticity, and particularly the personal facts he has communicated to her. If she shows resentment at your suggestion, be prepared to let her find out the truth for herself. Some of the best lessons ever learnt are those we learn from our mistakes and failures. After all, the error of the past can be the success and wisdom of the future.

It is possible that this man may have no ulterior motive, other than perhaps retaining information for fear of being misjudged by your friend. If it should prove that he has been manipulating the truth, is not to be trusted, and the relationship does crumble, continue to be there for her, and she will see that you are very much someone whom she can depend on.
Tags: Untagged

A Dogs Purpose DVD Launch

Posted by Young Ladies About Town
Young Ladies About Town
Fiona Hicks has not set their biography yet
User is currently offline
on Thursday, 24 August 2017
by Annette Kellow

This week I was invited to the elegantly chic Dukes Hotel to view the new film A Dogs Purpose, celebrating it's DVD Launch on the same week as National Dog Day.

We were there to enjoy a delicious selection of Dukes finest foods and then get settled to see the movie, which I heard was a real tear-jerker (I had come prepared with tissues at the ready).

But there was a twist, our little furry friends were invited too!

I was delighted to be taking my Yorkshire Terrier dog Dorothy to her first ever film screening, and in such a beautiful venue too. She trotted in, instantly sniffing out the other pooches such as Amelia the Cav and Charlie Chaplin from City Dog Experts.

Doggy snacks had been laid out for them and there was even special chairs for our pooches to recline in but first of all it was playtime! Anyone that has a dog knows they love to sniff out fun and my dog Dorothy got straight to it by letting a Bichon Frieze and a Spaniel follow her around in a rather devoted manner.

After she got bored of their adoring affections she ditched them for Amelia the Cav who was happily feasting on doggy popcorn in the corner.

Unknown-2

They did not let us 'humans' go without either. I had a lovely plate of chicken, salad, scotch eggs and a lemon dessert- delicious!

As we sat down they offered us strawberry icecream too, or should I rephrase that- they offered our dogs strawberry icecream, of which I almost ate myself! Frozzy's is a special blend of fruit and yoghurt specifically made with our furry friends in mind. Indeed I tried to get Dorothy to concentrate on the film but her concentration span was rather low with the Frozzy's around and before I knew it the whole tub had disappeared!

The tissues were definitely needed for A Dogs Purpose. Without giving too much away, they had combined several stories interweaving through a dogs life and it was magically set from the 1960's to the present day. The dogs voice is also narrated by Josh Gad so you can hear the dog, Bailey's, continuous thought process which definitely makes paws for thought.

They also showed the comforting therapeutic side of owning a dog and how they instinctively recognise a humans emotions. Apparently stroking a dog for just 10 minutes a day releases the feel good hormones Serotonin and Oxycotin. This helps with a relaxing and calming effect when petting a dog (I secretly wondered about kissing too? I must kiss Dorothy at least fifty times a day).

Directed by Lasse Hallstrom, A Dogs Purpose is for anyone who loves animals and enjoys the sentiment of a picturesque story which will win your heart over and over again.

A DOG'S PURPOSE IS AVAILABLE ON BLU-RAY AND DVD FROM 28TH AUGUST COURTESY OF ENTERTAINMENT ONE
Tags: Untagged

Results time

Posted by Patricia_Marie
Patricia_Marie
Guest has not set their biography yet
User is currently offline
on Thursday, 17 August 2017
The last week or so has been a frantic time for students up and down the country, with both the GCSE and A level results coming in. If the results are disappointing, it can cause emotional fallout for the student themselves and their parents, and cause problems between them...

Even if you are unhappy with your child's grades, try not to show this, as it could have a negative impact on their wellbeing. It is very important to remain calm and look to the future, so put aside your own wishes for them, look beyond the marks, and, at a time when they could be feeling disheartened and not good enough, remind them of their attributes, giving them reassurance that your love and approval are unconditional. Don't push them into making the wrong choice just to please you, as this may cause resentment in the future, and try not to compare their results with those of others, as even the most successful people in the world have had failures in their life. Make sure they have some time out to do their research and get as much advice as they can, before making any decisions and bear in mind that helplines are only a phone call away, so do encourage them to call sooner rather than later.

If you are a student, remind yourself that your parents ultimately just want you to be happy. It can be hard to see a way forward when you feel you haven't achieved, but learn from this setback, take responsibility for your results, and consider that if you work hard and commit yourself, your options are limitless. If you haven't been accepted at your chosen university, speak to your tutors, who have the skills and resources to help you explore your choices. Remember, there are always opportunities to improve yourself, whether in or out of education. Experience and other life skills are just as important as qualifications, so perhaps take a gap year, which will allow you time to think of alternatives that you may not up until now have considered.

Sharing life's challenges is a great time for parents and children to bond together, and, with mutual understanding and the right attitude, it can surely only lead to success...

There are helplines available for both students and their parents: The Universities and College Administration Service Exam Result Helpline on 0808 100 8000 offers careers advice and practical support, and Family Lives can provide much needed emotional help on 0808 800 2222 or go on to their website: www.familylives.org.uk
Tags: Untagged


Forgot your password?
Click to read our digital edition
Place-Classified-advert-336
TLR-advert-May2014-336

Boarders Dormitory Master-Mistress
We are looking to appoint a Dormitory Mistress/Master for 5 nights per week, weekday evenings and nights only, term time. (35 weeks). [...]

APPLY NOW


Housekeeper to Headmaster
We have an opportunity for an experienced live-out housekeeper. You will provide a cleaning and hospitality service for the Headmaster and his guests and help to ensure the household runs efficiently. [...]

APPLY NOW


Full Time Housekeeper, Nanny
We are looking for a full time, live-out housekeeper/nanny. We are a relaxed young couple living in a large country house, and will have one newborn baby. [...]

APPLY NOW


Experienced Carer, Companion, Housekeeper needed
Our elderly mother needs a live in carer/companion on a part time basis. Must be warm hearted, calm & compassionate, with a good sense of humour. [...]

APPLY NOW


Cook, Housekeeper wanted
Good cooking skills required to cater for light meals for the Principal and a small staff, as well as occasional lunch/dinner parties. [...]

APPLY NOW



MORE JOBS LIKE THESE
Lady-directory-button-NEW

Horoscopes

What the stars have in store for you this week.2017

Capricorn Aquarius Pisces Aries Taurus Gemini Cancer Leo Virgo Libra Scorpio Sagittarius

Sign up to receive our weekly newsletter