The Lady Bloggers

My husband won't give up his mistress

Posted by Patricia_Marie
Patricia_Marie
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on Friday, 29 September 2017
Dear Patricia Marie, 

For the past two years my husband has been funding his mistress in a stunning apartment near to where he works. He constantly lavishes gifts on her, and pays for them to go on expensive holidays abroad. When I found out last year, I was devastated, but have gradually had to accept I either put up with it, or lose him completely. He makes no secret of his infidelity. In fact he's glad it's out in the open. He insists he doesn't want me, but would be set to lose an awful lot of money if we were to divorce, and refuses to give up his mistress. I am still sleeping with him and try to do everything I can to make my husband happy, in the hope that he will finish with this other woman. I feel empty, weak and worthless. Please help me.

Patricia Marie says...

Why on earth would your husband give up his mistress if at the same time he has you submitting to his every whim? He is clearly having his cake and eating it, demonstrating a total lack of respect and being completely uncaring about your feelings. It seems he is only interested in his own pleasure, and is happy to walk all over you.

It's no wonder you are feeling so bad about yourself, but you must accept some responsibility for allowing your husband to treat you in such an appalling manner.

You say your husband is funding his mistress, yet surely this is your money too.

He is totally manipulating you, and I urge you to stand up for yourself before you end up not just lonely, but penniless too.

Instead of focussing on his needs, try to concentrate all your energy on yourself. Embark on some counselling which will help with your low self-esteem and lack of confidence. At this moment, having your husband to love seems the most important thing in your life. However, when you feel stronger within yourself, hopefully you will begin to see things more clearly, and seriously consider ending this dysfunctional marriage, so you can begin to live the life you deserve.

I feel you would benefit from reading 'Women Who Love Too Much' by Robin Norwood.
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Goodwood Revival Festival

Posted by Young Ladies About Town
Young Ladies About Town
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on Thursday, 28 September 2017







Theres nothing quite like a festival in England- indeed more than 3.5 million will have attended one this year. But it is even more exciting if it is a dress up affair, as is the Goodwood Revival, a vintage themed festival hosted by the Earl of March annually. 

I was cordially invited by Ford who would be taking up fort beside the pit lane where we were to view car racing, spitfires and entertainment. Set in 12’000 acres of sprawling green fields, it concentrates on Goodwood’s heyday of racing between 1948 and 1966. 


But first it was a night of relaxing and dancing at the Park House Hotel close by. The hotel is set in beautiful grounds and includes a spa, dining barn and vast gardens. It is also perfectly located to attend Goodwood, whilst my room (number 18 incase you need to know) was a pink cloud of Toile de Jouy wallpaper. I couldn’t believe how vintage it looked!


In the barn we tucked into a beautiful three course meal accompanied with a surprise swing dance lesson. After trying a selection of vintage themed cocktails we were shown the basics of this popular 1950's dance and then had to put it all together- somehow we managed even after the champagne cocktails (hic!) whilst our waiter who had joined in to make up the numbers was the best in the group!


On arriving at Goodwood the following day I was in vintage heaven looking at all the outfits and get ups. Men and women were dressed in period clothes with impeccable detail of the 40’s, 50’s and 60’s and even the children sweetly dressed for the occasion. I watched a 1940’s fashion show which was followed by a classic English lunch hosted by Ford (with endless dessert of rhubarb crumble!).

I then watched some entertainment in the style of The Andrew Sisters and had a personal tour of Ford’s vintage cars on display which were also racing at Goodwood.


As if that isn’t enough Goodwood also hosts many beautiful stalls with vintage clothes, housewares and other period items for sale. I loved looking at all the fashions which were also available to purchase.


After a few photos beside the big wheel I made an impulsive decision to go on. ‘Just think of the selfies,’ I told my friend. Soon after going up the wind nearly blew my hat off and I was clutching onto my mobile phone for dear life. My friend of course, found it hilarious and said that she definitely had the picture of the day- I, on the other hand was not so sure!


Goodwood is a festival for vintage souls, young and old and definitely a day of inspiration, joy and a feast for the senses! To see more visit www.goodwood.com
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My daughter refuses to speak to me

Posted by Patricia_Marie
Patricia_Marie
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on Friday, 22 September 2017
Dear Patricia Marie,

I have one daughter aged 16. Her father left us when she was a baby, and we were on our own until I met my present partner 2 years ago. She used to be the most adorable daughter, and it was wonderful to see how well my partner and her got on. In fact, everything was perfect until just recently, when we told her we were expecting a baby of our own.

Since then she refuses to speak to us, slams doors and is rude to us. We have tried to reassure her that having this baby won't make any difference in her life or between us, but any mention of the baby and she either becomes angry or bursts into tears. I have tried to be patient, but she has turned into a nightmare child and spoiling what should be one of the happiest times of our lives. Please advise.

Patricia Marie says...

I can understand how worried and upset you are feeling. As you say, this should be a 'happy' time for you. At the moment you are seeing your daughter's behaviour as unreasonable and unfair. Nevertheless, labelling her doesn't help. Understanding her feelings can. Step into your daughter's shoes and start to see things from her point of view. After all, having a baby may be exciting and wonderful for you and your partner, but your daughter perceives this news as a threat to her place in the family. Of course she's unhappy. For 16 years she has been the number one in your life. She's scared she's no longer important, and is understandably feeling rejected, hurt and unsettled too.

Recognise the confusion and pain your daughter is feeling. What she needs is plenty of love and understanding. Don't pressure her to be more accepting of the news, or make her feel guilty about not having a happy response. Instead, give her time and space to get used to the idea. Perhaps she would like to help decorate the nursery. Ask her opinion on name choices. Involving your daughter in plans around the forthcoming birth will make her feel very much included, and will also help her to come to terms with your pregnancy.
Be honest and tell her things will be different, but the love you have for her will never change. As your daughter gets used to the idea of having a sister or brother she may become far less angry and anxious. Gently explain to her that although the baby will initially demand your attention, you will also ensure the two of you get to enjoy special time together. When she trusts the fact she's still loved and wanted, she will soon grow to accept and adore her new sibling, and in time you can all get to enjoy the special times that lie ahead.

For further help, advice and guidance, I highly recommend Family Lives (formerly Parent Line Plus) There help line is open 24 hours. 0808 800 2222 familylives.org.uk/
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Doggy Afternoon Tea at Egerton House Hotel

Posted by Young Ladies About Town
Young Ladies About Town
Fiona Hicks has not set their biography yet
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on Thursday, 21 September 2017
by Annette Kellow

If you are anything like me, you try to include your dog in almost everything. This includes shopping, visiting friends, holidays and spontaneous beach trips. In fact in Britain we are so dedicated to our dogs that a whopping 74% of us will take our beloveds away with us on trips, holidays and excursions.

So imagine my delight on discovering Egerton House Hotel, a 5 star hotel designed with traditional style and elegance, which welcomes our four legged friends and serves a special doggy afternoon tea!

Set on a quiet tree-lined street in Knightsbridge overlooking peaceful gardens, it is the perfect home away from home, whilst being set on the doorstep of vibrant central London.
My friend Betsy arrived with her dachshund Frieda, whom my Yorkie dog Dorothy instantly covered in wet-nosed kisses. We were then introduced to a very smart looking red menu- but not just any menu, the dogs menu!

Inside the treats included bowl licking chicken, biscuits and doggy icecream as a three part meal – they even had their own water bowl, doggy mat and squeaky duck toy laid out.
This was all served in a tier of bright doggy bowls, which the dogs instantly began devouring!

annette

Now that the dogs were fully occupied we received our own 'human' menu. A traditional English afternoon tea was served with cucumber sandwiches, salmon, coronation chicken, scones, lemon drizzle cake, Victoria sponge, Bakewell tart and Champagne! Wow! On seeing our chintz china and tea time delights we knew we were being utterly spoilt!

As the dogs were so intent on eating and playing they seemed to have forgotten all about us humans so we settled down to a lovely long chat with some deliciously fragrant tea, of which I picked my favourite Rose. The tea room itself has a very relaxing ambience with chic and luxurious décor, perfect to while away the afternoon in a quiet place but still in the hub of London. I also spied a few vintage and antique items giving it the perfect mix of style, glamour and elegance.

Indeed our waitress, Tunde, also loves to do photography and happily took our photos which the dogs couldn't concentrate on for more than two seconds with their food and toys taking up most of their attention!

I was also intrigued to be told by the waitress that the owner, Beatrice Tollman, adores dogs. She is a fan of dachshunds and passionate about hotels which is how the Red Carnation Hotels came to life with her husband Stanley Tollman. And life it most certainly is, with a warm friendly atmosphere and the most impeccable staff one could ever meet.

Egerton House Hotel, we will be back- and with our dogs too!
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My 21 year old son has just announced that he is gay

Posted by Patricia_Marie
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on Friday, 15 September 2017
Dear Patricia Marie,

My 21 year old son has just announced to my husband and I that he is gay. I am totally shocked, devastated and completely unable to cope with this revelation. I still love him, but am disgusted by his behaviour.

He wants us to meet his boyfriend, but I have said absolutely not. I believe he thinks it's fashionable to be gay, but I am horrified. He has had a few girlfriends in the past, but nothing serious. Now I'm thinking this was all a disguise to shield us from the truth. My husband is putting on a brave face, but is distraught. We had presumed in the not too distant future our son would marry, and we would one day be grandparents, but I feel I have now lost my son.

My world has been shattered and I don't know what to do. Please help.

Patricia Marie says...

For any parent, finding out their child is gay can come as a shock, and facing up to this news can be difficult and painful, but in your case, if you are unable to alter your way of thinking, then you could indeed risk losing your son. He has finally taken the enormous step to trust and 'come out' to you both, only to be rebuffed. Have you considered how he is feeling? Being gay is not a choice. What your son needs from you now is simple acceptance, not to be made to feel guilty. Perhaps the first step in acknowledging this would be to welcome his boyfriend into your home. Many parents who have been in your situation find that, once they come to terms with their child's sexuality, the relationship between them deepens, and please stop worrying what others think; true friends will be supportive of you, and most importantly should accept your son for who he is.

Try to gain a sense of perspective – at present all you have lost is your own idea of how life should be. Your son hasn't changed. He's still the same person he was yesterday. Who's to say your son won't have a family and provide you with grandchildren in the future? Don't let him down at the time he needs you most, but instead show him the unconditional love every child deserves. The important factor in any relationship is not the gender to whom people are attracted - more that they love, respect, and treat one another with kindness.

Contact Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (FFLAG), who are brilliant at supporting parents when their children come out - and after. They would understand the very complex, raw, and totally understandable emotions that are enveloping your family at present. I also recommend: Always My Child by Kevin Jennings; this great read provides the insights and practical strategies parents need to support their children and cope themselves, having established their child is gay.

Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays: fflag.org.uk/0845 652 0311  
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