Subscribe to feed Latest Entries

How can I help?

Posted by Patricia_Marie
Patricia_Marie
Guest has not set their biography yet
User is currently offline
on Friday, 19 August 2016
Dear Patricia Marie,
My niece's closest friend lost her baby of 10 months to SIDS last year.

My niece who was also a godmother to the baby, is now expecting her first child and although she is delighted, she is filled with anxiety about SIDS. I am extremely close to my niece as her parents both died in a car crash when she was a teenager and she lived with me until she married two years ago.

This should be a happy time for her, but her fear around something happening to the baby is taking all the joy away.

What can I do to help her?

Patricia Marie says...

I am very sorry to hear your niece is so anxious, but given the circumstances, this is fully understandable. SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), more commonly known as cot death, is the unexplained death of an apparently healthy baby, of which its suddenness is particularly devastating. As your niece was closely connected to her friend and baby, she too experienced a loss. She was possibly so focused on supporting her friend, it may not have seemed appropriate to let herself acknowledge how she was actually feeling. Now she is pregnant, it's quite normal that suppressed emotions are transferring as fears for her own baby, at what should be a joyous time. Bringing new life into the world could also be reinforcing the harrowing death of her parents.

The key to surviving grief while pregnant is to be surrounded by people who love and care for you, so it must be comforting for your niece to have you in her life. Although there is no way to completely prevent or predict SIDS, there are many safety measures that could be put in place to reassure her. Professional care and helpful information is widely available, and do encourage her to discuss any worries with her midwife.

Over 20 years ago, after tragically losing her baby son to cot death, journalist and TV presenter, Anne Diamond founded 'The Back to Sleep Campaign'. Cot deaths soon plummeted due to mums following the golden rules that babies must sleep on their backs, must not be overwrapped and smoking near them can be deadly. It is imperative that this life saving message continues to be heard by all mums worldwide. Ongoing research is constantly revealing new ways to further reduce the risks, and babies born nowadays are far less likely to succumb.

I strongly recommend The Lullaby Trust which does incredible work to support those who have been affected by the sudden death of a baby or toddler. Your niece could also benefit from reading 'SIDS & Infant Death Survival Guide: Information & Comfort for the Grieving Family and the Friends Who Seek to Help Them', by Joani Nelson Horchler.

The Lullaby Trust: 0808 802 6868 www.lullabytrust.org.uk
Tags: Untagged

Introducing Grace Belgravia - Health and Happiness under one roof

Posted by Young Ladies About Town
Young Ladies About Town
Fiona Hicks has not set their biography yet
User is currently offline
on Thursday, 18 August 2016
blog-176This week Annette Kellow discovers you can find health and happiness under one roof...

As a fan of spas, products and basically anything beauty, I’ve often been told if I use this product or try that treatment my whole life will be transformed- if only there really was a miracle in a bottle! I also feel that it takes more than a lotion to have complete wellbeing and love to look for holistic alternatives.

So when I heard about Grace Belgravia, a women's only spa that combines beauty, health and fitness I decided to see what their unique approach was and if it differed from other spas.

From the outside, it looks like a secret door, all shiny and black and I had no idea what lay inside. Imagine my delight when I discovered an 11’000 foot grade-two listed building with original artwork and the highest ceilings known to mankind (no wonder Daylesford based their headquarters there).

The staff are less stuffy and pro friendly which instantly put me at ease and my kind assistant even waited patiently whilst I stopped to gawp at all the décor! Indeed it is bright, classic and spacious giving the whole spa a relaxing, homely and healthy feeling about it.

As I had been sick last year I decided to book a consultation with a nutritionist. She immediately checked my diet and gave me some cleansing food advice along with further information about vitamin intake, directing an exact combination for my body type.

She also informed me of the spas other treatments. They basically do everything a girl could ever dream of! Vitamin infusions, massage, facials, dance lessons, Pilates, hydrotherapy, lasers and a menu free from gluten, diary and sugar- which I soon found out tastes like heaven!
 
blog-2


At Grace Belgravia their mantra is highly concentrated on ‘beauty from the inside’ so they also offer GP services, emotional wellbeing and acupuncture with the club’s intention to combine these in a sanctuary of quality.

I decided to have a full body massage as my busy week was coming to a close and I could feel weekend leisure mode coming on. As I entered the nicest smelling room and lay down amid fluffy towels all I could do was will myself not to fall asleep, it was irresistibly relaxing!

After my massage (which I just about managed to stay awake for) I tried the grilled peach and asparagus salad which I then washed down with a smoothie, a protein banana number infused with raw cacao that made me ready to face the day with gusto! Grace Belgravia, you have changed my mind about spas, I will be back!
Tags: Untagged

My daughter is being difficult

Posted by Patricia_Marie
Patricia_Marie
Guest has not set their biography yet
User is currently offline
on Friday, 12 August 2016
Dear Patricia Marie,

My 17 year old daughter and I have always been close, but she changed drastically after her best friend died in a car accident a few months ago, refusing to talk about it, stopping her social life, and spending most of the time in her bedroom, eating sweets. Recently, her father offered to pay for her gym membership as she wanted to lose weight, and I agreed it was a good idea, but she turned the offer down. She seems to gain pleasure from giving me as much stress as possible, and is causing such an atmosphere in what has always been a happy household. The situation has become so bad, that now she wants nothing to do with us.

The main issue is that five years ago I invested £10,000 in premium bonds, for her benefit when she reaches her 18th birthday. I have now told her that I am not letting her have access to the money until I believe she will spend it wisely, as, not only is she being difficult, but I think she'd fritter it away, instead of using it for university as I had presumed.

Am I breaking both a legal and emotional law by withholding it from her?  

Patricia Marie says...

Firstly, I feel the most important issue here is the problem between you, your husband and your daughter. It sounds as if she found her father's offer a sign of criticism and rejection, especially at a time when she was grieving for the loss of her friend. She is clearly overwhelmed with emotion, hence the comfort eating, and in much need of some tender loving care. Perhaps it would have been far better if you had acknowledged that she wasn’t ready to talk about her friend's death, whilst gently asking her if she had any concerns about herself, and if there was anything you could do to help.

You are being unethical to suggest withdrawing the gift, and if the premium bonds are in her name, you cannot legally restrict her access to the funds. Try to separate the issue of the money from her emotional pain, and tell her that, as promised, on her 18th birthday it will become hers, but that you had intended it to be used towards her university fees. Nevertheless, bear in mind that when you made the decision to give her these bonds, you also gave her the right to spend the money however she chooses.

I feel that your daughter could benefit from some counselling, where she can express her feelings to help her come to terms with her loss. Therapy should also improve her self worth and hopefully encourage her to rebuild her friendships. The understanding of friends can be invaluable at times like these. I don’t feel that she is deliberately lashing out at you, as when in a dark place we can often overreact and rebel, particularly to our nearest and dearest. I suggest that you choose a calm time to sit down together, apologise for upsetting her, and explain how very important it is to you to get your relationship with her back on track. She could draw comfort from your understanding which may be the first step to regaining the closeness you used to share.

British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP): www.bacp.co.uk 01455 883300 
Tags: Untagged

The Lady Meets The Eagle

Posted by Young Ladies About Town
Young Ladies About Town
Fiona Hicks has not set their biography yet
User is currently offline
on Friday, 05 August 2016
James Crawford-Smith got the chance to meet Eddie Edwards at the Eddie the Eagle movie DVD launch this week...

Eddie Edwards was just an ordinary boy from Cheltenham once upon a time - learning to be a plasterer. Well on Wednesday night I attended a special screening of a movie dedicated to the life story of that plasterer, held at the Ice Bar and attended by a handful of stars... well semi-stars, and Dame Kelly Holmes!

The Eddie the Eagle movie tells the tale of England's first competitor since 1929 to represent Great Britain in Olympic ski jumping. The DVD release party was held in the very apt location of the Ice Bar, off Regents Street.

james-blogJames meets Eddie Edwards and Dame Kelly Holmes

As I walked in I had a cape thrust upon me with fur lined hood and gloves attached, I was guided through some frosted double doors and taken into a world of (well unsurprisingly), a world of ice. Drinks were served in a two inch thick ice cup, the goal on a usual night I was told, was to see if you could stay in the ice room until your glass had melted. I'm glad to say I wasn't given that challenge.

After sampling what the ice room had to offer I was joined by a team of journalists as we had a photograph taken with Eddie, and mingled with the other guests, which included a rather famous Beatle's ex-wife and amateur snow sports fan, an ex-boy-band heartthrob and a soap star and of course - Olympic angel Dame Kelly Holmes. All of whom followed Eddie down to the screening room where we settled in for the film.

For part of the experience Eddie sat behind me and I caught a glimpse of him watching his life's story unfold- 'it must be surreal I thought. It's not the usual thing is it to watch your own life on screen'. Well if the Eddie the Eagle movie taught me anything – it's that Eddie Edwards from Cheltenham was and still is anything but usual.
Tags: Untagged

I can't cope with my new puppy

Posted by Patricia_Marie
Patricia_Marie
Guest has not set their biography yet
User is currently offline
on Friday, 05 August 2016
Dear Patricia Marie,

A few weeks ago, after much work convincing my partner, I bought the sausage dog I have been craving for a very long time. At first it was so much fun, playing with him, making up his little bed, teaching him tricks and so on, but now I am finding I have changed my mind, as he also has chewed my slippers, my handbags, and my glasses, he wees on the floor in the house when he should ask to go outside, he barks constantly, and it's a nuisance if we want to go out for the day and can't take him.

I am worried what my friends and partner will think if I tell them I don't want him any more, as I was so very persistent that I knew what I was taking on.  


Patricia Marie says...


You are not alone in having underestimated the sheer time and commitment that raising a puppy demands. Owning a dog is a huge responsibility, and the novelty can easily wear off. It is imperative to put effort into his training, right from the outset. Like children, puppies need boundaries to create a sense of security, and instead of focussing on teaching him tricks, perhaps he should be learning at least the most basic lessons, such as sitting, staying and recall. Puppies thrive on stimulation and absorb training so easily in the first few months. They also pick up on your feelings, so try and remain both calm and confident at all times to earn his respect and trust.

Housetraining must be continuously taught, until your puppy has no more little accidents, as he will not know this automatically. Puppies need to chew to help with their teething, so provide him with rubber chew toys which can be stuffed with treats, and are therefore far more interesting and fun. If you are wishing to go out all day, you either need to invest in a dog walker or arrange daycare for him at home, as dogs are particularly sociable creatures, and can get separation anxiety if left alone for long periods. One of the symptoms of this can be excessive barking. Dogs bark for many reasons – attention, frustration, fear, protectiveness or over excitement, so try to establish the cause and then work on altering the situation so the barking is reduced.

Have you considered attending training classes with him? His current behaviour problems can be corrected with the help and understanding of professionals, but do not expect an immediate change, as it may take a while before you notice any improvement. This will also give you the chance to meet fellow dog owners, share your experiences with each other, and perhaps give you a further line of support.

Hopefully with the right help, and dedication from yourself, your dog could become your best furry friend. However, if you really feel you can't commit to him, then for the sake of his happiness, can you try to put your feelings of embarrassment aside and contact your local dog rescue organisation who could assist you in re- homing him with someone more equipped to deal with his needs.

I recommend: How to Understand and Train your Dachshund Puppy, by Vince Stead. This has everything you need to help you raise your dog to be happy, healthy, and obedient.
Tags: Untagged


Forgot your password?
Click to read our digital edition
Place-Classified-advert-336
TLR-advert-May2014-336

Sleep in, experienced carer
Sleep in, experienced carer, 24 hour rota, Wellingborough, 69 year old female, CP wheelchair user, personal and social support, approx. £21k

Social enabler to assist chair-bound film-maker
Part-time for 3 months - social enabler to assist chairbound filmmaker to visit exhibitions, galleries, art and events etc.

APPLY NOW


Person required for Laundry duties

Person required for Laundry duties, must be able to iron shirts and look after delicate items. Full time, London, Private Household.


Responsible Couple required
Responsible Couple required for 3 days gardening and 2 x 6 hours housework. I
Live-in Help
Elderly but active couple offer free exceptionally attractive two-bedroomed cottage with utilities included for general house duties in happy home.

APPLY NOW



MORE JOBS LIKE THESE

Lady-directory-button-NEW

Horoscopes

What the stars have in store for you this week.2016

Capricorn Aquarius Pisces Aries Taurus Gemini Cancer Leo Virgo Libra Scorpio Sagittarius
Win-CruiseShow-Aug19-336
Win-Summerdown-Aug12-336

Sign up to receive our weekly newsletter