Subscribe to feed Latest Entries

How do I get my wife back?

Posted by Patricia_Marie
Patricia_Marie
Guest has not set their biography yet
User is currently offline
on Thursday, 11 September 2014
Dear Patricia Marie,

I am writing as I need some advice on a terrible decision I think I have made. I am a 45 year old man, I had a lovely life, an excellent job, comfortable home and three adorable children along with a doting wife. I met a younger lady and after some time I left everything for her. Six months on, the excitement of being with somebody new has worn off and the grass is definitely not greener on the other side. I have just ended the relationship with my new girlfriend and would do anything to have my old life back, but am so ashamed and embarrassed of what I have put my family through. My wife refuses to answer my calls, and ignores my texts. Her mother drops the children to me when they come to stay, so I don't even get to see her. My sister-in-law contacted me recently to tell me my wife still loves me, but at the same time despises me for what I have done to her and our children.

With your professional guidance I am hoping that I can fix this and my family. Any advice would be highly appreciated.

Patricia Marie says...

The decision to leave your wife and children for another woman would almost certainly have had a huge effect on your family, and you cannot expect everything to fall back into place just because things haven't worked out for you. Wanting your wife to conform to your wishes so soon after the hurt you have caused her would be unreasonable.

The commendable thing is that you have not only seen your errors, but have understood the consequences of your actions. However, you are going to have to do a lot of hard work to convince your wife. I would suggest you initially write her a letter of which she would be able to digest in her own time. Explain that you do not want to put any pressure on her at all, but would love to meet up to tell her in person how very sorry you are for the hurt you have caused.  You've learned a hard lesson, and hopefully you can give some consolation to your wife by accepting and owning your share of the blame, and most importantly, whatever the outcome, be able to continue a positive relationship with your children.

A huge concern and something you need to ask yourself is: why did you feel the need to walk away in the first place?  Clearly something wasn't right between you and your wife and this needs to be addressed before any thoughts of a reconciliation, otherwise, you could end up in the same situation as before. Perhaps before any life-changing decisions are made, you could both benefit from attending Relate (relate.org.uk) as having professional help would enable you to explore any issues that contributed to the breakdown of your relationship. And do remember, sometimes we search long and hard for something that we fail to realise we already have.


Have a dilemma? Please email Patricia.Marie@lady.co.uk  Please note, while Patricia cannot respond to all emails, she does read them all.

In need of further support? Patricia Marie offers a counselling service in Harley Street, contact details as follows

Royally sick

Posted by Mum About Town
Mum About Town
Guest has not set their biography yet
User is currently offline
on Thursday, 11 September 2014
Being sick is so dreadful.  I’m not referring to lying in bed nursing a slight temperature while sipping hot lemon and ginger tea, lazily flicking through a glossy fashion magazine.  No, the actual act of feeling sick, being sick and smelling of all that sick.

So right now my heart goes out to our Princess and her not-yet-swollen tum.

Actually my sympathy goes out to her all the more as there is only one thing much worse than puking.  It’s the fact that the ENTIRE world knows you are puking.

Pregnancies pre the 12-week threshold are notoriously kept under wrap but as the Duchess of Cambridge is toilet/bedridden, she has had, once again, to let the new baby secret out of the bag.

As far as I am concerned, morning sickness is just the beginning of that fallacy called pregnancy.  It certainly isn’t just confined to mornings as nausea can sweep over the whole day.  But this princess is suffering more than the common people’s morning sickness.  Her royal version is called Hyperemesis Gravidarum and, affecting around 15 per cent of all pregnancies, it can go as far as causing dehydration.

Either way, I don’t envy her at all.  My baby making days feel like another world ago and, while I’ve got an image in my head of the Duke holding back all that wonderful hair, I do hope she milks it enough to get though a stack of magazines and several tea runs.

An eventful weekend

Posted by Young Ladies About Town
Young Ladies About Town
Fiona Hicks has not set their biography yet
User is currently offline
on Thursday, 11 September 2014
And another Young Lady ventures out of town, this time to Lincolnshire for the Land Rover Burghley Horse Trials – and an excuse to wear my tweed cape. It is a key highlight of the international equestrian calendar, but a carefully curated shopping village, displays including military working dogs and a contagious party atmosphere mean you needn't be horsey to enjoy it.

Eventing, a taxing combination of dressage, cross-country and show jumping, evolved from the training of cavalry horses, where speed, stamina and agility were of the essence. Today, it is a thriving international sport with a huge following – especially after Team GB's 2012 Olympic silver. And nowhere better to watch it than the magnificent surroundings of the Burghley Estate.

Out on the cross-country course on Saturday, I joined the cheering crowds lining the four-mile, four-star track. Designed by Capt. Mark Phillips and incorporating fences from the London 2012 Olympics, it is one of the world's most challenging. And visually stunning too, running over undulating parkland and woodland, with the backdrop of Burghley House.

blog2

As I watched New Zealand's Andrew Nicholson and his home-bred grey Avebury powering over the imposing fences, I found myself in the unusual position of rooting for a foreign competitor. The pair had won Burghley twice, and I really wanted to see them make it a record-breaking three. 'I rode him like I stole him,' Nicholson said later, referring to his daring shortcuts that had the crowd gasping. Avebury thrives on this bold approach.

And that's just the world-class sport. The social scene is second to none, too. On my way back to the car, I stumbled into the Dubarry stand. Yes, the one where impossibly handsome chaps stand in a bucket of water (to show their famous country boots are really waterproof) and flirt outrageously. Filled with antiques and a well stocked bar, it felt like a particularly jolly house party in an Irish stately. Next thing I knew, I'd been kitted out in their clothes and drafted into their legendary after-party. The tipple of choice was the Galway cocktail, made by salesman-turned-mixologist Keith Kenny.

blog1

Dangerously delectable (the cocktail, but yes Keith too), its magic ingredient is marmalade vodka. Good things happen at Burghley. Finding my car in the dark afterwards was another matter. I should have brought a torch.

Onwards and upwards for the show-jumping finale on Sunday. With only a few points between the top three competitors, it was an edge-of the seat affair. I actually yelped with joy when overnight leaders Nicholson and Avebury crossed the finish line, nailing their third consecutive Burghley victory. It was a privilege to witness eventing history in the making.

blog3

With some of the world's best horses and riders in a beautiful setting, shopping heaven and a contagious party atmosphere, this is a truly unique event – and the most sociable of its kind. I pitched up on my own, but by the time I left I'd bumped into an old friend and made several new ones (including Capt. Phillips's yellow lab). Put it in your diary for next year –and remember to pack a torch.

Burghley Horse Trials 2015 are from 3-5 September www.burghley-horse.co.uk
Tags: Untagged

Scotch eggs and silliness

Posted by Young Ladies About Town
Young Ladies About Town
Fiona Hicks has not set their biography yet
User is currently offline
on Friday, 05 September 2014
Is there anything better than a bit of silly food-based fun?

On Tuesday 16 September we Young Ladies will be heading to The Ship, Wandsworth to watch the pub's annual Scotch Egg Challenge. Now in it's fourth year, it promises to be more eggs-traordinary than ever.

Judged by a panel of eggs-perts (we could go on), including The Guardian’s Bob Granleese and Catherine Hanly from Hot Dinners, with journalist and author Joe Warwick compering the evening, chefs from 16 UK venues will fight to have their Scotch egg crowned the best in the country.

Scotch eggs Sept12-00-590

The stakes are high, but the event is free for spectactors. What's more, there is even the opportunity to sample the eggy creations. If last year is anything to go by, there will be cutting-edge concoctions using everything from sausage meat to salt cod béchamel and eggs from gulls to quails.

Who will be egg-static at the end of the night and who will be left with egg on their face (we told you we could go on)?  We Young Ladies will be heading to The Ship to find out...

For more information visit www.theship.co.uk

Pass the Panadol please

Posted by Nanny Knows Best
Nanny Knows Best
Guest has not set their biography yet
User is currently offline
on Friday, 05 September 2014
Some days are going to be tough. That’s life.

The Dalai Lama may be the happiest person on earth but even he must suffer the occasional ache. Whether he succumbs to a pill to help him along is not really any of my business and who am I to judge him anyway.

I’ve witnessed parents, carers, nannies, grandparents, all surrender, or is it crave, chocolate/crisps/a glass of wine/beer/ice cream to cope. My downfall is salad bowl size of muesli & yogurt to satisfy the hunger of room full of sweaty yoga types.

So when I heard the following story from a teacher, it gave me pause to consider what our seemingly harmless behaviour may be instilling in the young minds who observe us.

 “I was asked to assist with a crying five year old who was refusing to go back to class. His problem was huge. Huge to him. He didn't have money for the Mother's Day stall.

Me: Hey it’s OK. Not everyone has money for the stall.

Him: (backing up)

Me: Have you got a daddy at home?

Him: (nod, yes)

Me: I think your daddy might buy you something to give to your mummy. What's mummy's very favourite thing? Chocolate?

Him: (shakes head, no)

Me: What then?

Him: PANADOL.

We established HIS favourite thing was jelly beans and he was given five, cheered up and went to class”.

Me: Note to self to have a quiet chat with mum”.

The empathetic adult in me laughed when I heard this. The responsible adult and nanny then realised the poignancy.

Children have ears and eyes and hearts bigger than we imagine and give them credit for. They soak in everything, good and bad, that happens around them. Just because they may not understand, they do learn from these moments.

I’m not advocating you hide in the laundry or under the table to munch on your mars bar and skull your wine, just temper and be aware of what your children will pick up from what you do.


Forgot your password?
Click to read our digital edition
Place-Classified-advert-336
TLR-advert-May2014-336

Daily tip from the lady archive

"BEAUTY may fade and riches be lost, but a sense of humour ripens with the years, and cannot be stolen. It remains a very real solace, and a talisman against the ills of life."

The Lady. The Invaluable Possession 2nd May, 1912
More vintage tips

Live-in Housekeeper in Southampton

A lovely family of 4 is looking for a live-in housekeeper. All main housekeeping duties including laundry and occasional cooking. 4 bedrooms house. The accommodation is a bedroom and a shared bathroom. 25-30 hours per week. Immediate start. Salary £250 npw

APPLY NOW

Win-George-Michael-album-Sept12-336
Win-Hotel-Sept05-336

Horoscopes

What the stars have in store for you this week.September 12 - 18

Capricorn Aquarius Pisces Aries Taurus Gemini Cancer Leo Virgo Libra Scorpio Sagittarius
Literary-Lunch-Sept09-Sold-out-336

Q: A recent survey has revealed the Top 10 things British women would love to do but are too scared. Have you done any of the following?

Sing in public / karaoke - 10.6%
Ask for a pay rise - 6.2%
Travel or holiday alone - 27.7%
Do a naked photo-shoot - 6.2%
Get a tattoo - 3.8%
Have a bikini wax - 4.9%
Get your hair cut very short - 10.6%
Ask someone out on a date - 3.8%
Quit your job - 19%
Have cosmetic surgery - 7.3%
The voting for this poll has ended on: 13 Jun 2014 - 09:12
Win-Gifts-Sept05-336
Lady-directory-button-NEW

Sign up to receive our weekly newsletter

 


 
You are now being logged in using your Facebook credentials