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Mother's Day

Posted by Patricia_Marie
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on Friday, 24 March 2017
As Mother's Day approaches, not everyone will be happily celebrating. For those who have lost a mother, it can be a daunting day, especially if this is the first one without mum. The day may also bring mixed and complex feelings to women who have experienced the loss of a child, infertility or miscarriage. They may struggle to cope with the memories and emotions which this day triggers, and may feel very unsettled.

For those who need a little support at this time, I offer some guidance to help you get through...

The Loss of a Mother

If you have lost your mother, this day could prove to be overwhelming, so be gentle on yourself. Do something positive, and perhaps choose an activity that will connect you - be comforted by looking at photographs of her, revisiting places you know she loved, spraying some of her favourite perfume, or listening to significant pieces of music, to relive those special memories. You may find this upsetting at first, but it will allow you to feel her presence, and as time goes on, it could become your own ritual. To honour her memory, plant a living memorial in the form of a tree or rose bush. You may still want to buy a Mother's Day card, to celebrate this day in your own unique way. She may not be here - but is still very much your mum.

The Loss of a Child

The death of a child is a loss like no other. If you feel yourself struggling during this significant day, light a candle in their memory, which could make you feel especially close to your child at this time. You may feel anger, sadness, or guilt, because they died before you. These emotions are very common with grief - don't try to suppress them. No matter how long since your loss, if you are still suffering, consider joining a bereavement group which could help you to feel understood, and give you hope, that if others can survive their loss - so can you. In time your focus can hopefully shift away from your child's death towards remembering your child's life.

And celebrating the day....

If you are celebrating this Mother's Day with your family, relish and enjoy every single wonderful minute. If you are wanting to treat mum, try not to be influenced by the multitude of gifts on sale. Instead treat her to something far more worthwhile like breakfast in bed, an offer to clean the house or work through that pile of ironing. Perhaps bake her a cake, and get to enjoy some quality time with her. These gestures from the heart would, I'm sure, mean far more to her. And if you know anyone who may be reminded of a heart breaking loss on this day, perhaps help ease their pain by a small act of kindness, such as offering a card, flower, or words of encouragement, which could make a huge difference to the way they are feeling.

Life goes on, and we must embrace it. Hopefully there will be plenty to look forward to in the future, and, however you do, or don't, celebrate this occasion, I wish each and every one of you a very happy Mother's Day.

For additional help, advice and support, contact: Cruse Bereavement Care: 0844 477 9400 
SANDS is a national charity which can offer support when your baby dies during pregnancy or after: 020 7436 5881 
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Sea Containers Events launch party

Posted by Young Ladies About Town
Young Ladies About Town
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on Thursday, 23 March 2017
by Katrina Schollenberger

The Young Ladies of The Lady were recently invited to the launch of Sea Containers Events: two levels of function rooms at the Sea Containers building, created to accommodate a range of events against breath-taking views of London's skyline.

The event was managed by award-winning hospitality providers Green & Fortune, and the evening certainly didn't disappoint. The launch was held on the 12th and 13th floor of the Sea Containers, overlooking London's most iconic buildings. Upon arrival, my guest and I were greeted with a fruit-based vodka jelly segment and a passionfruit and chilli spritz before being escorted up to the 12th floor. We walked around demonstrative dining tables with beautiful layouts, business presentations, a LED dance floor and a large circular bar serving wine, beer and fantastic cocktails.


After weaving around and gaping at the views, we headed up to the 13th floor, walking up the stairs of an amphitheatre that could hold up to 200 people. There were canape stations dotted around the event with some great cooking including a carving station serving delicious warm lamb pittas. Other canapes making rounds at the event included venison, spiced apple and mulled wine sausage rolls, cured stone bass ceviche, tequila and lime dressing and salt chilli chicken with spiced pepper mayonnaise. Out of all the food of the evening, I particularly enjoyed the seafood display and 'Pudding Lane' full of fine miniature cakes and sweets. There was even edible mist on offer.



The evening's entertainment included an DJ, electric violinist, pianist, saxophone quartet, a photo booth and an illusionist who left my guest and I completely baffled. Among the six new spaces available for hire, you could envision how anything could come to life from a wedding reception to a corporate party. Rooms are capable of hosting up to 150 for dinner and 250 for cocktail receptions (there is an exclusive hire application for anything larger). The space's terraces and balconies stole the show, with an endless glittering London skyline to view for miles.

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As the evening came to an end, guests were given individually bottled and wax sealed barrel aged Negroni. An absolutely show-stopping evening.
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I hate the way I look

Posted by Patricia_Marie
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on Friday, 17 March 2017
Hallo Patricia Marie,

I am writing to you because I don't know where to turn. I hate the way I look.

I have a dreadful birthmark across one side of my face and I feel like everybody stares at me and laughs, even though I try and turn away and never look directly at people as I can't stand the shock I see in their faces when they look at me.

I was born with this, and I know by now at the age of 41 I should have learnt how to deal with it, but I haven't. I have become so introverted, and hate ever going out, and at times feel suicidal. I don't have the money for cosmetic surgery, and make up doesn't seem to make much difference. I only have one close friend, and of course she tells me to take no notice and that I am lovely inside, but I just can't bear it.

Is there anything that you could suggest?

Thank you so much for reading my problem.

Patricia Marie says...

In a world obsessed by perfection, those living with face disfigurements often find this a struggle. One of the biggest problems people with birthmarks experience are psychological, including low self-esteem and crippling shyness.

It's all about how you choose to see yourself. Your friend means well when she says your lovely on the inside, however everyone is unique and beautiful on the outside too - although many have difficulty accepting themselves in this way. Nevertheless, there are those who feel their flaws define them and would feel neither the same or complete without their familiar blemish. I am wondering what is happening in your life at this present time for your imperfections to have become of such significance and problematic to you.

As you are feeling seriously depressed, I would suggest an urgent chat with your G.P, who could consider referring you to a cosmetic surgeon through the NHS. Nevertheless, whilst you feel surgery may be the answer for you, I would still recommend you consider all options before making such an important decision. Counselling would be particularly beneficial at this time, and most importantly, could help you learn to love yourself because of your uniqueness, and not in spite of it.

The British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy have a directory where you can find a qualified registered therapist in your area. 01455 883300

The Birthmark Support Group is a brilliant organisation that offers support for anyone with a 07825 855 888
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I have a job that my mother-in-law doesn't approve of

Posted by Patricia_Marie
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on Friday, 10 March 2017
Dear Patricia Marie

I have a job that my mother-in-law doesn't approve of. She never misses an opportunity to say I'm irresponsible, unethical and an embarrassment to her. But that doesn't stop her from coming to our house all the time and enjoying our hospitality.

Recently she was here for three weeks because her house was being redecorated as she was getting headaches from the smell of paint. She drove me crazy with her high-handed comments about my work. Now my wife wants her to join us on our spring holiday. She says it will be nice for the children to have granny around, and even though she agrees her mum can be interfering, for the sake of a quiet life she puts up with this.

I love my wife very much who is easily influenced by her mother, but why should I put up with the company of my mother-in-law who clearly doesn't respect me?

Thank you for reading my problem. I look forward to your reply.

Patricia Marie says...

I suspect your mother-in-law feels that she can get away with saying anything she likes because no one ever challenges her. Perhaps she does not see how intrusive she is being. To her it may just be she is showing caring behaviour and trying to help. She could be feeling vulnerable - scared she may not be wanted or needed, and by displaying authority allows her to feel she has some control.

It would be a good idea for you to meet up with your mother-in-law somewhere on neutral territory so you can level with her. Insist your job enables you to provide a home and fund holidays for your family, and is of no concern to her. Explain you are not happy with her constant criticism and recognise she seems very unhappy around you. This saddens you as you would like her to be at ease in your company. However, if her unacceptable behaviour continues, you will not be wanting her to visit as much. Once she realises her feelings are important to you, hopefully things will change for the better and you will enjoy each others company.

Your wife needs to understand the importance of you spending quality time alone with your family, otherwise it could create problems within your relationship. Albeit, you need to remember there are advantages to having your mother-in-law join you on your break. It means you and your wife can get to spend time alone together whilst your children are being looked after by their doting granny. Although your mother-in-law may have been taking your generosity for granted, it seems you may have been focusing on the negatives, therefore, not noticing the enormous help and support she must be bringing to your family. And remember, for all the things you find irritating about her - she raised the woman you fell in love with.
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Lunchtime driving with Simon Dixon, founder of Rockar group

Posted by Young Ladies About Town
Young Ladies About Town
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on Monday, 06 March 2017
by Victoria Senior

During a busy lunchtime on the roads in London I caught up with Simon Dixon, Founder of Rockar group. He is the CEO who is changing the way we think about buying cars and has created this premium automative company.

I'm typical of someone in my age group, used to going to a car showroom to find out more about a car and how to buy it. Admittedly the days of doing this on my own are over as my husband loves the challenge of buying a car, me, well yes I'm still intimidated by taking the car to the garage for repairs so anything to make me feel more comfortable about this process is welcome.

Simon picked me up from the offices in Covent Garden in the new Jaguar 4x4, the F-Pace. I was hopeful this car would be up there as the next family car to cart my three sons around with their ever growing sports paraphernalia, along with the dog. Space is my foremost need in a car, seconded, very closely, by the drive.


The Jaguar was a dream to drive. I was nervous on the busy roads in the West End of London, but its manoeuvrability was smooth and very quickly gave me confidence to weave between the traffic. The satnav was required as we crossed the river to head south, otherwise I would definitely have had the cameras on confirming the minuscule space between me and the many lorries. However, it transpired I did not need them as the wing mirrors are well placed for viewing the sides of the car. The suspension was firm but flexible enough to take the odd curb without me realising and Simon did not mind the car mounting the pavement to park up when there was no space outside the office!

The steering wheel was a bit small and I was not keen on the rear view as it looked as if I was viewing the roads behind through a telescope. It wouldn't fit our family and kit in comfortably but it's a great car that would be as useful in the city as on a long drive on the motorway or even through country lanes. Along the journey Simon told me about his vision for changing how cars are bought through showrooms. His new 'shops' are located in shopping malls, with cars in the multi storey car parks ready for test drives. These showrooms are designed for the younger audience with the digital space allowing the customer to browse touch screens. Everything can be done online before, during and after your visit.



Financial information regarding your purchase is available at your fingertips and there are as many women as there are men on the shop floor. The sale staff are called 'Angels' and are trained for three months before serving customers and none have a background in car sales. Their aim is to improve the overall customer experience and not push sales. I am yet to visit the store but am most intrigued to pop in and see how it works for me and how my 'stereotype' can benefit from this way of selling cars, additionally I am told the store takes inspiration from other fashion brands with constantly changing window displays. My husband might be harder to convince but he is the one who doesn't mind the old way of buying cars so much!

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