Mum About Town

Emma is a freelance writer, lifestyle blogger and online marketer. When she’s not writing, she gets down with her Smalls, bigs-it-up with Him and swans around London reporting for her blog.

A perfect weekend?

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on Tuesday, 04 February 2014
Is there such a thing as a perfect weekend? And, if so, did a mother ever have one? I’d challenge any of those nauseating Instagram feeds (you know, the ones who have more than 4 children AND bake) to tell me just how it’s done. Because, by the end of the week I’m left facing a tired, over-worked Him and some seriously homework-hating Smalls. So, I’m not seeing the perfect….

I remember (in the olden days) when Friday night was pub night. You’d slope off an hour early with your work chums for that first taste of the weekend. Two whole days stretched ahead full of self-indulgent fun. Carefree with little responsibility, I recollect that joyously giddy moment.

But now, the weekend is the time to pick up the pieces. It’s when the house needs a tidy and clean, the washing needs to go on. So I’m struggling to see how the FT’s How To Spend It magazine can fill a whole page of perfect weekends each and every week. I read it with confusion. And envy.

Unless, of course, there are perfect-weekend-liars out there.

‘How was your weekend?’ asks exhausted looking mother. ‘Just amazingly relaxing/interesting/refreshing etc’ replies perfect-weekend-liar.

Either way, let’s look forward to that Perfect Monday.


You can read more musings from Emma at www.lifeofyablon.com.

Sex Respect

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on Tuesday, 28 January 2014
My thoughts this week are (unusually) a little political. I’m concerned enough about Sex Ed in schools to get on the bandwagon. You see, without teaching boys (and girls for that matter) some proper dos and don’t, we’re in danger of seeing the already high numbers of girl-groping incidents rise. In fact, I read a startling fact today: in the UK, 1 in 3 school girls experience unwanted sexual abuse – from boyfriends, friends and relatives. How utterly hideous is that? And, I’m presuming those offenders can only claim ignorance if their education hasn’t set them straight.

So, the House of Lords is considering making an amendment to the Children & Families Bill which would require all state-funded schools to teach Relationship and Sex Education.

Hallelujah, I say.

In an era where we’re still discovering more of these Jimmy Saville types together with an infinite and readily accessible amount of Internet porn at under-age fingertips, the threat is constant. And frightening.

So let’s educate them. The kids need to learn as much as possible about sexual consent and respectful relationships.


You can read more musings from Emma at www.lifeofyablon.com.

News of an affair

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on Tuesday, 21 January 2014
He came home with some ‘news’ last night. Over a city lunch, a friend had confessed his ongoing affair and announced that he is leaving his wife.

‘What!’ I exclaimed. ‘I thought they were so happy? What about those poor children?’

‘Yes they were,’ he confirmed ‘ before he met someone on a deal he was working on… now he’s going to move in with her.’

Just like that, there it was. All the information I was going to get - or in fact need.

I quickly started rustling up some dinner (from a bare fridge), asking how the rest of His day had been. Then, when the Smalls came down whining of insomnia, I ushered them upstairs leaving Him with His whisky, evening paper and the football on.

After I had cleared up our dinner, I (even) asked him what he’d like to watch on TV. AND didn’t touch my laptop nor phone. Avoiding the subject of the cost of the fake grass I’m currently lusting after and the trip to New York I’m planning, we sipped our chamomile tea.

Perfect wife. Perfect home. Perfect life. Anything but the thought of a perfectly awful affair.



You can read more musings from Emma at www.lifeofyablon.com.

School project by A. Another Adult

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on Tuesday, 14 January 2014
How long is it since you last worked on a school art project? You know, the type which requires air-dry clay, plasticine and a quantity of some properly sticky glue. Only a week ago, a few of you might cry. Well, you’re the ones I want to listen to this week’s rant…

…because I’m fascinated by the sheer intensity and single-mindedness of your efforts. Yes YOU. Not the 7-year-old in question who is standing by your side, mystified by your energy, ambition and fired-up competitivity. He had thought that his assembled pyramid had been perfect. Maybe even bonus-worthy. But no! You have bigger, grander, better plans.

Art shops are raided, kitchens rearranged…. This Egyptian scene (due in at the end of the month) needs to be THE BEST. It must blow all others out of the River Nile’s muddy waters.

And so that promotion at work and the latest private equity deal pale into insignificance. This Cairo must be built in a day. Gold paint is sloshed around to reflect the Egyptian grandeur (as well as your ambition) and perhaps some glitter as a finishing touch? Mummies (real ones), Sphinx, perfectly formed camels, temples and pyramids…. no-one must touch.

The whole family looks on in relief. The job is done and your tension abates. Your house insurance doesn’t cover any potential damage to this (particular) work of art so you decide to hand it in early. Now all you have to do is pass it off as his.


You can read more musings from Emma at www.lifeofyablon.com.

NY Resolutions

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on Tuesday, 07 January 2014
The pressure is on. That new year, new you type of pressure that is only conjured up by… yourself. But, as I sit here trying to work out what on earth my resolutions should be, I’m wondering why I didn’t feel compelling to improve myself on 30th November. I mean, what’s the big deal, this is only a new month. A new month which just so happens to fall at the beginning of the year.

2013 was just fine. My tax return was (almost) late, I lost both car keys and had to have the car towed away (at huge expense), I told a hideous client to take a running-jump and I had to have yet another boob operation, but the year really was just fine.

Anyway the statistics are bleak: only 8% of those who resolve actually stick to their plan. Mostly the resolutions we aim for are unrealistic, sadistic and plain old boring. Who wants to feel that they HAVE to read four books a month, send a handwritten letter to an old aunt or give up something fun that they enjoy (despite it being terrible for their health)?

If your new year’s resolution is to diet, I bet you’re reading this with an empty tummy and a sour face. And if you’ve promised yourself to visit the gym more often over the next 12 months, then I’m afraid you’re the worst statistic of all. You’re absolutely destined to fail.

Honestly, I don’t resolve to change too much of myself this year. And I’m welcoming 2014 with open arms.


You can read more musings from Emma at www.lifeofyablon.com.


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