Chris Parnell is a comedian, a new dad, and a man in love. Like many “manboys” he likes fart and poo jokes, and has managed to pen a completely silly but strangely beautiful lullaby.
I LOVE YOU
The first time that I held you in the hospital I said,
I love you, I love you
You look like Winston Churchill dipped in putty but I said
I love you, I love you.
Now you're living in our house, and all you seem to do
Is sleep and eat and burp and cry and drool and pee and poo.
Which would really make me mad if it were anyone but you,
But I love you, I love you

There's urine on your onesie and there's spit-up on your bib,
But I love you, I love you
Some unknown viscous substance cakes the mattress in your crib,
But I love you, I love you

The solids and the liquids and the gases you let loose,
Are what some massive chemical explosion might produce.
You do it all the time and never offer an excuse
But I love you, I love you

You bother random strangers with your incoherent cries,
You shake your mother's nipples till they're raw,
You lay there doing absolutely nothing and I'm in awe.

Close your eyes and sleep my child until the morning light,
I love you, I love you
That's a joke, I know you'll wake me three more times tonight
But I love you, I love you

And as I lean above you with my pinky in your hand,
Singing words you couldn't possibly begin to understand.
The two things I'll be thinking are that I'm exhausted and,
I love you, I love you
I love you, I love you