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I'm beginning to resent my husband

Posted by Patricia_Marie
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on Friday, 02 December 2016
Dear Patricia Marie,

My husband spent his early 20s working away in the States doing all kinds of jobs, and he still describes that period as the best days of his life. I find that so insulting since he's now married to me and we have two lovely children. Recently we were at a party when he started bragging about his US years, and I just lost it. How do I make him understand how insensitive he's being.

He also tells our friends at any given opportunity that he was always popular with the women and hasn't lost his charm. How dare he make such comments. I do love him, but am beginning to think he's not the man I thought I'd married, which is causing me to resent him.

I don't think he deserves me or our beautiful children. My friends think he is a joke, which is very embarrassing for me. Please can you offer me some advice.

Patricia Marie says...

A relationship shouldn't be a battle to see who has had the best experiences, and it can be difficult to live with someone who gives the impression they have seen and done it all. Sometimes, for whatever reason when things aren't going right, people look back on the past with rose-tinted spectacles. The need for your husband to convince you that others think so highly of him, is a sign of insecurity, and by shifting it and projecting it to you, he is reassuring himself. He is covering up his lack of confidence by displaying unacceptable behaviour, which is typical of a person who values themselves so little they're always afraid they're not loved. The only way to work through such anxiety is to work on self-esteem. Counselling will help, but first he needs to admit he has a problem, which may not be easy.

You need to have a proper chat. Make it clear that you're not a jealous person, but his trips down memory lane are wearing you down. How would he like it if you were constantly reminiscing about the fun times you shared with your friends and previous partners? Discuss what you can both do to enhance your relationship. Whilst working hard to bring up a young family, it is easy to lose sight of each other's needs as a couple. Make some special time for each other, so you can both feel loved and appreciated. Hopefully your husband will begin to see he cannot continue to act in this way, as he could risk losing the life he has now. Memories are precious, but the past cannot be allowed to intrude and damage the present.
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An evening at Aqua Shard with Sir David Attenborough

Posted by Young Ladies About Town
Young Ladies About Town
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on Tuesday, 29 November 2016
by Annette Bellow

There's nothing quite like a room with a view, and the contemporary British restaurant The Shard can certainly boast of one of the best with a spectacular panoramic view of London. On hearing David Attenborough was to launch the buildings first eco-friendly Christmas tree, I couldn't wait to attend their first seasonal meal and talk- after all we are only a few weeks away from the big day!

I decided to dress in my Attenborough best i.e floral skirt and matching corsage but as it poured with rain en route I turned up looking like a soggy flower (not quite the look I was going for!) To add to that, my friend had transport problems and my battery died on my phone. But then the food arrived! Porcini risotto, swordfish and canapes- my mouth began watering at the delights on offer!

Located on the 31st floor of the building, this year instead of a traditional fir tree the restaurant is showcasing a 9 metre cascading installation designed using recycled 3d material by Timothy Hatton Architects.

ANNETTE

Entitled Human Nature by Sir David Attenborough, it is held in the three storey atrium and is made up of thousands of prints of woodland leaves.

After Christmas the installation will be deconstructed into individual leaves and each one will be sold at the Fauna and Flora Charity, of which David has been a member for 60 years.

I loved the talk that Sir Attenborough gave. He spoke about the fragility of nature but also how our planet was to be celebrated.

Shortly after his speech the desserts came out- they were nature inspired too! Apple compote, chocolate twigs with 'soil' and honey ice-cream on top of almond crumble (of course I couldn't resist trying all three). This was finished with a mulled wine inspired cocktail adorned with a chocolate gold leaf.

Just as I was feeling pleasantly full and not minding that I was eating on my own, my friend turned up panting and out of breath. 'Did I miss anything?' she breathed, also soaked from the rain. Luckily I had saved some desserts for her too.

Human Nature will be on display from now until 1st January on the 31st floor at Aqua Shard.
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I hate the way I look

Posted by Patricia_Marie
Patricia_Marie
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on Friday, 25 November 2016
Dear Patricia Marie,

I am writing to you because I don't know where to turn. I hate the way I look.

I have a dreadful birthmark across one side of my face and also a misshapen nose. I feel like everyone stares at me and laughs, even though I try to turn away and never look directly at people, as I can't stand the shock I see in their faces when they look at me.

I was born with this, and I know by now at the age of 41 I should have learnt how to deal with it, but I haven't. I have become so introverted, hate ever going out, and at times feel suicidal. I don't have the money for cosmetic surgery, and make up doesn't seem to make much difference. I only have one close friend, and of course she tells me to take no notice and that I am lovely inside, but I just can't bear it.

Is there anything that you could suggest?

Thank you so much for reading my problem.

Patricia Marie says...

In a world obsessed by perfection, those living with facial disfigurements can often struggle with psychological problems, including lack of self confidence, low self-esteem and crippling shyness. The reality of living with a visible difference is that others can be very judgmental and intrusively inquisitive, which can make the individual feel distressed and vulnerable. Nevertheless, there are those who feel their flaws define them, and would feel incomplete without their familiar blemish.

Your friend means well when she says you're lovely on the inside. However, everyone is uniquely beautiful on the outside too - although many have difficulty viewing themselves in this way. I believe you have been particularly brave trying to deal with this matter on your own, and would suggest you embark on some counselling, which could help you learn to accept yourself, because of your uniqueness, and not in spite of it. Furthermore, because you are feeling seriously depressed, I would suggest an urgent chat with your G.P, who could explore all options with you to improve your emotional wellbeing, including potential referral to a cosmetic surgeon through the NHS.

There are some dedicated organisations, including The Birthmark Support Group that offers support and information, not only for anyone with a birthmark, but also their family, and Changing Faces which provides a wide range of Self-Help Guides, and could help you learn new techniques to handle living with an unusual appearance, and to find a way to live the life you want.

The British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy: www.bacp.co.uk 
The Birthmark Support Group: www.birthmarksupportgroup.org.uk 
Changing Faces: www.changingfaces.org.uk 
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The Rekorderlig Cider Lodge at Southbank

Posted by Young Ladies About Town
Young Ladies About Town
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on Wednesday, 23 November 2016
By Katrina Schollenberger

This week, as a young lady about town, I was eager to head to a festive event to get in the spirit of Christmas. Can you believe the big day is merely four weeks away?

I was thrilled to be invited to the cosy Rekoderlig Cider Lodge at the Winter Festival in Southbank. Rekorderlig is a Swedish cider, so I was excited to be amongst Scandinavian themed Christmas evening. The lodge was decorating in strings of fairy lights, tables and sofas, Christmas trees and of course, a bar. The outside had benches surrounding blazing roaring fires, as everyone huddled around them like penguins.

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Inside, we were given three Rekorderlig bottle tops tokens to exchange for drinks of our choice. I opted for a strawberry-lime infused cocktail garnished with mint. I also sampled the new plum spice Rekoderlig flavour, warmed like mulled wine and very flavourful. Staff walked around in fluffy hats and snow boots handing out head warmers with printed snowflakes on them, it was a cute touch to what already felt like a little ski lodge, or a cottage in a cold forest!

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As guests chatted amongst themselves, delicious canapes were brought around. They ranged from chicken pate, carrot and watercress bites to hot dogs with prawn mayo and an crispy onion relish and little pots of herb coated chips. There was even a peculiar beetroot canape making the rounds, and I almost went for one thinking it was something different.

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One of the best parts about the lodge was the view over the rest of the Winter Festival. From the upstairs balcony, you can watch people mingling below, or scan what food you might like to try in the food huts. Have a drink, a nibble, and walk down Thames at sparkling Southbank- what more could you ask for from a London evening?
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A Song and Dance: Gypsy Musical DVD Is Released

Posted by Young Ladies About Town
Young Ladies About Town
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on Tuesday, 22 November 2016
by Annette Kellow 

It's not every day you get whisked off to become a vintage showgirl, but in collaboration with Universal Pictures and the Gypsy Musical DVD release that's exactly what happened!

For those who are not familiar with Gypsy Rose Lee, she was a successful 1950's burlesque star and writer, using witty poetry in her performances and made several appearances in movies.

Ultimately her mother, Rose, was the mastermind behind her fast-paced show business career and the musical focuses on their often hectic relationship that life in the entertainment world brings.

After its successful run at The Savoy Theatre, Gypsy has been recorded in all it's stage glory and is now available to own on DVD.

Imelda Staunton (Maleficent, Harry Potter series) plays Momma Rose and Lara Pulver as Louise in Jonathan Kent's dazzling revival, which has received glowing five star reviews.

I was very excited to be discovering I would be turned into the character of Gypsy, which would be a throwback showgirl look. Infact I was so excited that I brought all of my vintage jewellery to the shoot and proceeded to empty the contents onto the props table (more is more, right?)

GypsyPhotoshoot

Lipstick and Curls, a beauty parlour team that specialises in all things vintage hair and makeup, coiffed my hair into 1950's waves whilst one of their talented makeup artists, Goshka, got to work on a shimmering set of makeup. I was very impressed with the contouring and blusher technique to give definition so tried to keep one eye open to see how it was done (apparently its all to do with the blending!)

After adding false lashes, red ostrich feathers and some sparkling costume diamonds we were ready to shoot- it felt very glamorous and apparently was the replica of Gypsy's stage look.

The team were telling jokes whilst the photos were being taken and I was tempted to burst into a little song and dance but didn't want to scare anyone (my singing is only fit for the shower really) so I just tried to smile instead.

After the shoot I decided to keep the makeup on, as I loved it so much. I stopped at the local farm shop on the way home to buy some mackerel with my dog, Dorothy. The man behind the counter asked if I was going anywhere nice and when I replied 'home' he said, 'Well, at least your making an effort for your dog, right?'

If only I could wear this makeup everyday- for me and for Dorothy!

Gypsy is out on Digital Download and DVD from 28th November, courtesy of Universal Pictures (UK).
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