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GCSE and A-Level Results

Posted by Patricia_Marie
Patricia_Marie
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on Friday, 26 August 2016
Patricia-Maria says...

The last week or so has been a frantic time for students up and down the country, with both the GCSE and A level results coming in. If the results are disappointing, it can cause emotional fallout for the student themselves and their parents, and cause problems between them...

Even if you are unhappy with your child’s grades, try not to show this, as it could have a negative impact on their wellbeing. It is very important to remain calm and look to the future, so put aside your own wishes for them, look beyond the marks, and, at a time when they could be feeling disheartened and not good enough, remind them of their attributes, giving them reassurance that your love and approval are unconditional. Don’t push them into making the wrong choice just to please you, as this may cause resentment in the future, and try not to compare their results with those of others, as even the most successful people in the world have had failures in their life. Make sure they have some time out to do their research and get as much advice as they can, before making any decisions, and bear in mind that helplines are only a phone call away, so do encourage them to call sooner rather than later.

If you are a student, remind yourself that your parents ultimately just want you to be happy. It can be hard to see a way forward when you feel you haven’t achieved, but learn from this setback, take responsibility for your results, and consider that if you work hard and commit yourself, your options are limitless. If you haven't been accepted at your chosen university, speak to your tutors, who should have the skills and resources to help you explore your choices. Remember, there are always opportunities to improve yourself, whether in or out of education. Experience and other life skills are just as important as qualifications, so perhaps take a gap year, which will allow you time to think of alternatives that you may not up until now have considered.

Sharing life's challenges is a great time for parents and children to bond together, and, with mutual understanding and the right attitude, it can surely only lead to success...

There are helplines available for both students and their parents: The Universities and College Administration Service (UCAS) exam result helpline on 0808 100 8000 offers careers advice and practical support, and Family Lives can provide much needed emotional help on 0808 800 2222.
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A Silver Screen Evening at Somerset House

Posted by Young Ladies About Town
Young Ladies About Town
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on Friday, 26 August 2016
Now summer is here, it is important to make the most of the light evenings and good weather we’ve been having of late. So when an invitation came through to attend the Somerset House Silver Screen to the Catwalk exhibition followed by the Film 4 screening, I was ready with my tartan blanket and Pimms!

The screening was hosted by Pamela Hutchinson, Polly Devlin and Amber Butchart who spoke about their inspirations of Fashion and how it’s portrayed through film. Polly had worked closely with Diana Vreeland in New York so had many an anecdote and funny tale, which kept the audience delighted- I particularly liked her story of being asked what was the next big thing in fashion. Her reply? Hay fever!

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Amber also showed us how patterns and themes run through the storyline. When they got to the Audrey Hepburn slides I was all ears as she is my favourite actress (Think Pink!) We were also fully educated on other films such as The Red Shoes and Marlene Dietrich, which still inspires the fashions of today.

Afterwards we were treated to cocktails on the terrace (yes please, don't mind if I do), a 1950’s D’J who also danced amazingly and then the film started…

I loved how everyone had picnics and blankets spread out in the courtyard. I had obviously positioned mine in the correct place as the chaps next to my friend and I kindly offered us some homemade rolls. Let's just say they didn’t last long!

Watching a film outside is a very unique experience and quite refreshing seeing the sun set behind Somerset House on a beautiful Sunday evening- a lovely end to a lovely week.

http://www.somersethouse.org.uk/events/2016
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How can I help?

Posted by Patricia_Marie
Patricia_Marie
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on Friday, 19 August 2016
Dear Patricia Marie,
My niece's closest friend lost her baby of 10 months to SIDS last year.

My niece who was also a godmother to the baby, is now expecting her first child and although she is delighted, she is filled with anxiety about SIDS. I am extremely close to my niece as her parents both died in a car crash when she was a teenager and she lived with me until she married two years ago.

This should be a happy time for her, but her fear around something happening to the baby is taking all the joy away.

What can I do to help her?

Patricia Marie says...

I am very sorry to hear your niece is so anxious, but given the circumstances, this is fully understandable. SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), more commonly known as cot death, is the unexplained death of an apparently healthy baby, of which its suddenness is particularly devastating. As your niece was closely connected to her friend and baby, she too experienced a loss. She was possibly so focused on supporting her friend, it may not have seemed appropriate to let herself acknowledge how she was actually feeling. Now she is pregnant, it's quite normal that suppressed emotions are transferring as fears for her own baby, at what should be a joyous time. Bringing new life into the world could also be reinforcing the harrowing death of her parents.

The key to surviving grief while pregnant is to be surrounded by people who love and care for you, so it must be comforting for your niece to have you in her life. Although there is no way to completely prevent or predict SIDS, there are many safety measures that could be put in place to reassure her. Professional care and helpful information is widely available, and do encourage her to discuss any worries with her midwife.

Over 20 years ago, after tragically losing her baby son to cot death, journalist and TV presenter, Anne Diamond founded 'The Back to Sleep Campaign'. Cot deaths soon plummeted due to mums following the golden rules that babies must sleep on their backs, must not be overwrapped and smoking near them can be deadly. It is imperative that this life saving message continues to be heard by all mums worldwide. Ongoing research is constantly revealing new ways to further reduce the risks, and babies born nowadays are far less likely to succumb.

I strongly recommend The Lullaby Trust which does incredible work to support those who have been affected by the sudden death of a baby or toddler. Your niece could also benefit from reading 'SIDS & Infant Death Survival Guide: Information & Comfort for the Grieving Family and the Friends Who Seek to Help Them', by Joani Nelson Horchler.

The Lullaby Trust: 0808 802 6868 www.lullabytrust.org.uk
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Introducing Grace Belgravia - Health and Happiness under one roof

Posted by Young Ladies About Town
Young Ladies About Town
Fiona Hicks has not set their biography yet
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on Thursday, 18 August 2016
blog-176This week Annette Kellow discovers you can find health and happiness under one roof...

As a fan of spas, products and basically anything beauty, I’ve often been told if I use this product or try that treatment my whole life will be transformed- if only there really was a miracle in a bottle! I also feel that it takes more than a lotion to have complete wellbeing and love to look for holistic alternatives.

So when I heard about Grace Belgravia, a women's only spa that combines beauty, health and fitness I decided to see what their unique approach was and if it differed from other spas.

From the outside, it looks like a secret door, all shiny and black and I had no idea what lay inside. Imagine my delight when I discovered an 11’000 foot grade-two listed building with original artwork and the highest ceilings known to mankind (no wonder Daylesford based their headquarters there).

The staff are less stuffy and pro friendly which instantly put me at ease and my kind assistant even waited patiently whilst I stopped to gawp at all the décor! Indeed it is bright, classic and spacious giving the whole spa a relaxing, homely and healthy feeling about it.

As I had been sick last year I decided to book a consultation with a nutritionist. She immediately checked my diet and gave me some cleansing food advice along with further information about vitamin intake, directing an exact combination for my body type.

She also informed me of the spas other treatments. They basically do everything a girl could ever dream of! Vitamin infusions, massage, facials, dance lessons, Pilates, hydrotherapy, lasers and a menu free from gluten, diary and sugar- which I soon found out tastes like heaven!
 
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At Grace Belgravia their mantra is highly concentrated on ‘beauty from the inside’ so they also offer GP services, emotional wellbeing and acupuncture with the club’s intention to combine these in a sanctuary of quality.

I decided to have a full body massage as my busy week was coming to a close and I could feel weekend leisure mode coming on. As I entered the nicest smelling room and lay down amid fluffy towels all I could do was will myself not to fall asleep, it was irresistibly relaxing!

After my massage (which I just about managed to stay awake for) I tried the grilled peach and asparagus salad which I then washed down with a smoothie, a protein banana number infused with raw cacao that made me ready to face the day with gusto! Grace Belgravia, you have changed my mind about spas, I will be back!
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My daughter is being difficult

Posted by Patricia_Marie
Patricia_Marie
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on Friday, 12 August 2016
Dear Patricia Marie,

My 17 year old daughter and I have always been close, but she changed drastically after her best friend died in a car accident a few months ago, refusing to talk about it, stopping her social life, and spending most of the time in her bedroom, eating sweets. Recently, her father offered to pay for her gym membership as she wanted to lose weight, and I agreed it was a good idea, but she turned the offer down. She seems to gain pleasure from giving me as much stress as possible, and is causing such an atmosphere in what has always been a happy household. The situation has become so bad, that now she wants nothing to do with us.

The main issue is that five years ago I invested £10,000 in premium bonds, for her benefit when she reaches her 18th birthday. I have now told her that I am not letting her have access to the money until I believe she will spend it wisely, as, not only is she being difficult, but I think she'd fritter it away, instead of using it for university as I had presumed.

Am I breaking both a legal and emotional law by withholding it from her?  

Patricia Marie says...

Firstly, I feel the most important issue here is the problem between you, your husband and your daughter. It sounds as if she found her father's offer a sign of criticism and rejection, especially at a time when she was grieving for the loss of her friend. She is clearly overwhelmed with emotion, hence the comfort eating, and in much need of some tender loving care. Perhaps it would have been far better if you had acknowledged that she wasn’t ready to talk about her friend's death, whilst gently asking her if she had any concerns about herself, and if there was anything you could do to help.

You are being unethical to suggest withdrawing the gift, and if the premium bonds are in her name, you cannot legally restrict her access to the funds. Try to separate the issue of the money from her emotional pain, and tell her that, as promised, on her 18th birthday it will become hers, but that you had intended it to be used towards her university fees. Nevertheless, bear in mind that when you made the decision to give her these bonds, you also gave her the right to spend the money however she chooses.

I feel that your daughter could benefit from some counselling, where she can express her feelings to help her come to terms with her loss. Therapy should also improve her self worth and hopefully encourage her to rebuild her friendships. The understanding of friends can be invaluable at times like these. I don’t feel that she is deliberately lashing out at you, as when in a dark place we can often overreact and rebel, particularly to our nearest and dearest. I suggest that you choose a calm time to sit down together, apologise for upsetting her, and explain how very important it is to you to get your relationship with her back on track. She could draw comfort from your understanding which may be the first step to regaining the closeness you used to share.

British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP): www.bacp.co.uk 01455 883300 
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