Friday, 17 February 2017

The Diary of Miss Darcy Bustle: 17 February

The Lady's new office dog tells all

Written by Miss Darcy Bustle
Monday
Its official, a study by the Neuroscience & Biobehavioural review has discovered that dogs can tell the difference between whether a human is a ‘goody’ or a ‘baddie’ just by looking at them. So if someone isn’t very nice to our owners, we tend to ignore them even if they try to bribe us with treats. We’re not called man’s (and woman’s) best friend for nothing.

Tuesday
Today, I went for stroll around Trafalgar Square, which is always a good excuse to try and chase the pigeons. Apparently, according to Bella – a Staffordshire Bull Terrier cross who visits regularly – there used to be more pigeons but she thinks someone told them all to leave and the ones that are left are the naughty ones who just wouldn’t listen. Bella sits with her owner, Leonard, a pavement artist who encourages visitors going to the National Gallery to pick up chalks and draw their very own masterpieces outside. Bella and her owner are homeless, but she says she doesn’t mind. But I think she does and is just being brave.
 
IMG 2410My beautiful new jumper 

Wednesday
Kath has knitted me a new jumper which is so gorgeous that two ladies in St James’s Park stopped me to admire it and even take a photo so they could go home and copy it for their own doggies – they were on a day visit from Oxford. My new jumper has beautiful buttons – in the shape of tiny mini dachshunds – perhaps the tiniest you can get. Their dogs are Labradors, I think, so they’ll need bigger buttons. And a lot more wool.

Thursday
This morning, I got a note to warn me not to eat chewing gum. I don’t actually eat chewing gum (its not a nice habit), but there is so much of it on the ground that it’s tempting to give it a sniff. But vets are warning owners that it contains Xylitol which is used as a sweetener in gum as well as in soft drinks and cakes for humans. It doesn’t do them any harm – except perhaps make them eat a lot – but if dogs ate just 0.1g per kg of their body weight of it, they could become gravely ill.

Friday
This morning, the editor got a letter from Sara Williams from CMS Advertising in Leeds saying she might like to know that I am not the only office ‘pet’ – they have a peacock called Pedro. Yes, a peacock, which I think is just showing off, but which the editor thinks is amazing. Not as amazing as me, surely? Sara said that Pedro isn’t very cuddly (and his claws are too long for typing) but he will come up to their French windows if they offer him lettuce and cucumber. They also think he is lonely and needs a girlfriend. I said I was sorry, but I think they might be barking up the wrong tree with me.

See you next week! Instagram @missdarcybustle


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