The Daily: September 25

Schools closed and homes evacuated in violent British weather
Extreme measures have been taken after an entire month's worth of rain fell in just twenty four hours across parts of the UK. The environment agency has issued fifty nine flood warnings after forecasters predict another four inches of rain could fall by the end of the day. The floods have left parts of Scotland cut off from England after rail services were forced to be suspended and have forced eighty five home owners to flee their houses and two schools to close in Northumberland. It is expected that the North East and the Pennines will see the worst of the weather over the coming few days.

The Queen intervenes in Abu Hamza case
The BBC's security correspondent Frank Gardener has revealed that The Queen herself asked why Britain could not arrest radical cleric Abu Hamza. The monarch is said to have been so 'upset' that the extremist was able to preach his messages of hatred in the UK that she asked the Home Secretary why Britain could not intervene. Hamza is one of five terrorist suspects who are facing extradition to America after the European Court of Human Rights rejected their appeal yesterday. Gardener claimed that in 2004 The Queen expressed her upset and exasperation that Hamza was able to continue preaching and had so far not been prosecuted for spreading religious and racial hatred. Buckingham Palace declined to comment on these claims.

Thorpe Park to breathalyse student visitors
Fed up with complaints from disgruntled families, Thorpe Park has taken the decision to breathalyse potentially inebriated university students who have caused a 250% rise in "sick shutdowns". Students are allegedly flocking to the park after drinking in order to intensify the experience of the theme park's famous rollercoasters, however this has led to a number of incidents where rides have had to be shut down and cleaned after the intoxicated students couldn't keep all that alcohol down. So what will happen if they fail this breathalyser test? They will be put on the park's most terrifying ride The Swarm. This bizarre decision comes after research from Dr David Lewis found that the blast of oxygen riders receive from high impact rides speeds up their metabolic rate and helps to break down toxins. A spokesperson for Thorpe Park said "By putting them on The Swarm, we hope that our guest will have a great, and hopefully vomit free, day".

161 year old Beatrix Potter recipe book to go on sale
A rare collection of Beatrix Potter's possessions are set to go on sale in Ludlow, Shropshire on Tuesday. However the jewel in the crown of this unique collection is a 161 year old recipe book with Potter's own recipes included. The recipes are believed to have been passed through generations and include how to guides for cooking roast turkey and gingerbread. Speaking of the find, auctioneer Richard Westwood Brookes said "the books have clearly been compiled by various members of the Heelis family over the years, but some sections do appear to be in a hand that resembles Beatrix Potter herself. Despite that fact Brookes concedes that "we cannot conclusively prove" their heritage, the book is set to send enthusiasts into as frenzy as they battle to own this unique piece of never seen before memorabilia.

Animal news
A flock of sheep have caused havoc in Austria when they paid a visit to an unsuspecting ski shop. Over eighty sheep barged their way into the St Anton ski shop and caused untold damage. Speaking of the intruders a spokesperson for the shop said "we think one of them saw its reflection in the mirror and came in to investigate" he went on to add "and being sheep, of course the rest of them decided to follow".

A stray cat has been aptly named Gypsy this week when he was found roaming the streets of Scotland, some one thousand miles from its home in Germany. When he was found, the elderly cat was malnourished and unkempt and was believed to have been abandoned. However when rescuers delved further into the mystery they found that the cat had been microchipped, and that his home address was registered to Germany. Experts believe that the owners may have recently moved to Britain and the cat simply got lost, but the search is on to reunite Gypsy with his German owners.

A distraught panda has found comfort after the death of her six day old cub, in the form of a soft toy. The cause of death of the young bear is unknown but she was said to have had an abnormal liver and fluid in her abdomen. Following her tragic death, the cub's mother has sought consolation from a small rubber toy that she will not let go. Chief veterinarian at the zoo spoke of how the cub was "just beautiful, beautiful little body, beautiful face".