Friday, 06 January 2017

The Diary of Miss Darcy Bustle: 6 January

The Lady’s lovable new office dog tells all

Written by Miss Darcy Bustle
One of my favourite Christmas presents is a sumptuous cushion embroidered with the words Her Ladyship. I am not sure if Santa knew that I had been dreaming of life as a royal consort, but I think this cushion may help. My other top present was an adorable Christmas tree bauble from Kath, who said that it looked just like me. Well, me when I am dressed up in a gold glittery rara skirt.

It may be too early to mention it but I have fallen madly in love with a corgi called Reg. True, we’ve never met, and yes, he is only a small photo in a frame in the editor’s office, but I am hopeful. I am sure my recent elevation to the peerage will help. After all, aren’t all corgis related to HM the Queen? Thomas Blaikie says that he is not sure that the words Her Ladyship stitched onto a stuffed cushion constitute entry into Debrett’s but he is going to check. He also says that corgis can be a bit ‘snappy’. Surely not?
DarcyJan06Reg- is it love?

This month is going to be a ‘dry’ month, although I am really not sure what that means. I think it means that the pile of empty bottles that the editor usually puts out after a quiet night in with the girls is going to be replaced with fruit juice cartons. I don’t think that it will make much difference to me, except perhaps I will be forced to join in the ‘mindful’ jogging craze sweeping through the office. What is ‘mindful’ jogging? And who really cares?

Melonie thinks that the reason I am spending so much time staring at the framed photo of Reg, the corgi I’ve never met, is because I am missing Harold. Or rather, Harold is missing. The last time he came calling for me was in November. I am beginning to get worried. James sent him a note, but no reply. Maybe he has emigrated? I am spending a lot of time on the lookout to see if he goes in or out of his door. But maybe there is a back way? Or maybe he has dumped me and I am the last to know.

Today I went to lunch with Thomas and the editor to Joe Allen’s in Covent Garden. This restaurant has been there since 1977 and is a favourite haunt of theatre- world stars and fans alike. It is cheery, cheap, has a really nice piano player and they let little well-behaved doggies in – I always take my own blanket. But no more. Because the Hollywood actor Robert De Niro has bought the building and is closing the restaurant down to replace it with a luxury hotel. The jolly basement that houses Joe Allen’s will become a spa. I can’t see that I’d be that welcome any more.

See you next week! Instagram @missdarcybustle

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