'If the Queen came to Essex?'
Monday, 30 November -0001

'If the Queen came to Essex?'

The Only Way Is Essex's Joey reveals where he'd take Her Majesty

Written by Katy Pearson

He's the 21-year-old star of hit ITV2 show TOWIE who coined the term "reem" (it means “gorgeous” by the way) and now Joey Essex has been putting his mind to summer smells.

Here's what happened when The Lady met Joey...

So, what qualities do you think make a lady?

Well all girls are completely different, some will wear a dress once, and some wear outfits loads of times- it’s hard to say just one quality because they’re all so different!

Do you think good manners are important?

I think being generally polite is important: saying thank you and please. It’s pretty standard but a lot of boys don’t do it especially. I'm definitely quite gentlemanly!

What’s the first thing you notice about a lady?

Hair’s quite a big thing, because it frames the face. Then I notice what they’re wearing, and maybe the legs! 

You're fronting this Summer D'reem campaign for Surf, do you do your own washing and ironing?

Nah, a very good family friend of mine does most of my stuff. It takes so long! I had a bit of disaster the other day after washing my jeans: I opened my machine the day after putting them in there and all the water just spilled out! So annoying.

So you're not very domesticated then? Do you cook or clean... or anything?

Not much… I always get takeaways!

What does Essex smell of?

Something summer and sweet - melons and jasmine flowers! It should smell like Marbella; Essex is just like Marbella!

What do you hate the smell of?

Anything that really makes you gag? Vinegar, it’s really strong. And bins. I hate the smell of bins!

Who is the most ladylike person you know?

My nan probably. My nan’s got her own style - a right proper lady she is!

What annoys you?

Sometimes people try and dress like me. They’ll have the exact clothes, but then they wear their hat wrong; they peak it sideways and it just ruins the whole outfit!

Who do you prefer, Catherine the Duchess of Cambridge or Pippa Middleton?

If I’m a bum man, it’s got to be Pippa.

Do you like sunshine or the rain?

I hate rain. I love sunshine! If I was God and created the world, this country would be gleaming all the time! Like Dubai! Sometimes I get quite pale and pasty, but generally I’ve normally got some form of natural brown tan as I’m quite olive skinned.

What’s your ideal night out?

Well I definitely get a table, I hate standing about. And the tables are always just mates. No girls- if you want to go and talk to a girl you have to get down and leave the table because otherwise girls sit down and throw themselves at you- it’s really off putting.

If you could create a law in Essex that everyone had to abide by for the day, what would it be?

I’d make everyone be happy all the time.

And if you could have a superhero power, what would it be?

I’d like wings so I could just fly home!

And finally if the Queen came to Essex, where would you take her?

If the Queen came to Essex... There's this Italian in South Woodford [in Essex]. She’d like it. Actually she'd love the garlic bread in there I reckon!

Surf and Joey Essex's limited edition Surf Summer D’reem, leaving your clothes with a summer freshness that lasts and lasts. For more information and to be the first to try the product register at www.surf.co.uk

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