As the juggernaut of Christmas starts to jack knife across the highway of our blood pressure are you finding yourself both shaken and stirred? All is calm and bright right now but the slow build is like scaling a white-knuckle ride complete with cynically timed rattles and clunks before you top the vertiginous peak and then whoosh - it's hold on to your life, wallet, liver!
Eau de Anxiety and Tension Truffles will be on your Dear Santa list for sure.
For as much as you'd like to channel the glam of Nigella or the down home coziness of Martha Stewart you know in reality the author of your Christmas film/story is more Tim Burton meets Poe.
So here's a little salve that even Estee Lauder can't deliver this year to ease those frowns and robin's feet around the eyes.
So here are 10 things you don't need to worry about this month and beyond:
- Pre-preparing – Let go of control. We can control a lot less in life than we think we can. Relinquish the need to plan life to the finest detail and thus setting yourself up for upset when reality and relatives don't fall in line.
- Turkeys – Fear of failure. We all fail. No one has a 100% success rate. It's called living and trying things, experiencing life, being your potential, taking a risk, having a go and learning. Do you only play to win? What if it was a learning curve that guaranteed a life well lived? Play your hand.
- “I want what he/she has got” - Compare and despair. When you unfavorably compare your life with others you will lose 100% of the time. Be grateful for what you have, honour your own journey.
- The Present – If you are feeling sadness you are thinking or living in the past. If you feel anxiety your thoughts are in the future. The present is where peace is.
- People pleasing – we all want to give generously and make others happy. But when you dance to someone else's tune, are trying to gain acceptance and compliments you put your power in the hands of others.
- Looking good – None of us is happy with the shape we are in. Bad skin, sagging jaw, hair where even David Attenborough hasn't seen it – we are all great big neurotic bags of skin unhappy with our lot. I've coached semi-starving supermodels who part crowds with their beauty who fret about every pimple and crease. One day you'll look back and wished you looked like you do now.
- It's all stuff – Nobody went to their grave saying “I'm so glad I got that smoothie maker”. A friend, whose wealthy geriatric aunt was recently decluttering, saw designer shoes (no longer fitting because of arthritis), objets d'art too big to downsize and couture dresses galore no more to be worn sold off at bargain basement prices. Stuff. End of.
- Perfectionism – If you want to make a simple job complicated, a quick job last hours and to get hung up on detail when “good enough” would have sufficed then aim for perfectionism. It wont make you happy but you think it will.
- Not having enough – we have a lot more than we need but we always want more. Try to develop an abundance mindset. Anyway there's a charity shop somewhere selling off someone ease's “no longer needs”. (See tip 7)
- Feeling unloved. I'm afraid that has to start with you. Self love sounds cringe-worthy but acceptance and even liking the self automatically makes you happier, life feels better and you become irresistibly attractive to others. You feel braver when you have love and compassion for yourself and can forgive easily your perceived faults. Give yourself this gift.
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