The art of stage rage
They say all the world’s a stage, an aphorism Dame Helen Mirren took to heart when she recently exited a theatre mid-performance to silence – with a few rather colourful words – a group of drummers.
The noisy band, who had been processing through central London promoting a music festival, infuriated the revered thespian as they came to a halt outside the Gielgud Theatre, where she was performing in The Audience. Their exuberant drumming was pounding through the walls, drowning out the dialogue and ruining the show, so an exasperated Mirren, still in costume as the Queen, appeared in front of the troupe and ordered them to cease their playing.
‘I felt rotten,’ she admitted afterwards, ‘but on the other hand they were destroying our performance, so something had to be done.’ Besides, the musicians were suitably chastened by her ‘royal ticking off’ and stopped immediately, leaving the actress to resume her Olivier Award-winning role back on stage.
It’s certainly not the only case of someone getting an earful from an outraged actor. In fact, many thespians have got the art of the outburst rehearsed to perfection, as these examples show.
Loss of temper, especially if accompanied by (horror of horrors) swearing, is classed as unspeakable behaviour in our peculiar age. ‘Abuse!’ we cry – that dog-eared word.
Nowadays, we are mostly required to be even, fair, nonjudgemental; we must read personal-growth books. We mustn’t shout at anybody, not even our own children.
But really! How dare some hooligan drummers disrupt Helen Mirren? Why was nothing done sooner? Were the authorities mimsying about, impotently whining, ‘Best not get involved’?
And what courage of the Dame to forge out and berate them. A bit of colourful carryon is just what we need in this homogenised age.
On the whole, however, you probably won’t get anywhere if you lose your temper. Sadly, a few restrained words are usually more lethal than a foam-flecked tirade. Don’t be afraid, though, to utterly condemn the behaviour of others in certain circumstances – making excessive noise in a public place is just plain wrong. There’s no other point of view to be considered.
Those skilled in losing their tempers also know when to stop. They climb down graciously. You should always apologise, as Dame Helen Mirren has done, then carry on as if nothing has happened.
Ideally, a great bond will have been forged with your victim. You become ragingly intimate as would not otherwise have happened. Somehow you’ve given a flash of your inner being, and they know they’ve hurt you and are sorry. So Dame Helen appeared the next day in a ‘top’ promoting the drummers, saying she loved them… an outburst with a happy ending.
The noisy band, who had been processing through central London promoting a music festival, infuriated the revered thespian as they came to a halt outside the Gielgud Theatre, where she was performing in The Audience. Their exuberant drumming was pounding through the walls, drowning out the dialogue and ruining the show, so an exasperated Mirren, still in costume as the Queen, appeared in front of the troupe and ordered them to cease their playing.
‘I felt rotten,’ she admitted afterwards, ‘but on the other hand they were destroying our performance, so something had to be done.’ Besides, the musicians were suitably chastened by her ‘royal ticking off’ and stopped immediately, leaving the actress to resume her Olivier Award-winning role back on stage.
It’s certainly not the only case of someone getting an earful from an outraged actor. In fact, many thespians have got the art of the outburst rehearsed to perfection, as these examples show.
James McAvoy
Last month, the dashing star of Atonement and The Last King Of Scotland, interrupted a performance of Macbeth at the Trafalgar Studios when he saw a member of the audience filming the play on a mobile phone. He shouted at the man to stop, and the play resumed after the culprit had left. It wasn’t clear whether Mr McAvoy, who was playing the murderous Scottish king, was drenched in fake blood at the time, but an eyewitness said of his shocked victim, ‘The poor fellow looked very embarrassed.’Pam Ann
The Australian comedienne kept her rant within the spirit of her show, in which she plays an air hostess. When a group of people on the front row, which had been designated as First Class for the performance, kept getting up to fetch drinks and generally being a nuisance, she instructed theatre staff to downgrade them to Economy straight away. She received a standing ovation.Miriam Margolyes
Ms Margolyes had a true diva moment at the end of her hit onewoman show, Dickens’ Women, on Broadway. She received a standing ovation – from all but one member of the audience in the front row, who remained seated and just clapped. The actress motioned for everyone to sit down, and then asked the woman why she had not joined in, telling her she was very rude.Ken Stott
In 2009, while starring in Arthur Miller’s A View From The Bridge, the veteran thespian stopped the performance to order a group of students to leave, as they were making too much noise. Members of the audience joined in, chanting ‘Out, out, out’, until eventually the offending youngsters, with teacher in tow, made their exit. Referring later to teenagers, Mr Stott said: ‘They tend to come in large groups, which actors don’t like.’ Doubtless, the average age of his audiences has since gone up.Hugh Jackman
The star of Les Misérables lost his cool during a production of A Steady Rain in New York. When a mobile phone rang, he yelled, ‘You want to get it? You want to get it? Grab it. I don’t care.’ When the ringing continued, the actor asked the phone’s owner to come on stage and share his call with the audience. Footage of the unfortunate incident has made its way on to the internet.Ian Hart
Best known for playing Professor Quirrell in the Harry Potter films, Hart exploded into a fit of stage rage during the curtain call for Speaking In Tongues at the Duke of York’s theatre. He leapt off the stage and loudly berated a theatregoer who had, apparently, been talking throughout the play. He lunged at the man, but members of staff defused the situation. Shortly before the interval he had shouted at the chatty one to ‘Shut up!’, but the man had assumed it was just part of the performance.Kevin Spacey
The wittiest telling off was delivered by Oscar-winning Mr Spacey. He snapped out of character when a phone rang during his performance in The Iceman Cometh at The Old Vic. ‘Tell them we’re busy,’ he quipped, before seamlessly carrying on. The Old Vic is now a phone-free zone.John Wood
It is not just mobiles or chatterboxes that provoke stage rage. The late stage actor John Wood broke off mid-speech during a performance of King Lear to ask a member of the audience, ‘Would you please stop coughing?’ He then said he was terribly sorry, got back into character and continued with his speech.Sir Peter Hall
And it’s not just those on the stage who have perfected the theatrical tirade. While Downton Abbey star Laura Carmichael was delivering her final speech as Sonya in Uncle Vanya, the acclaimed octogenarian director, who was in the audience, was heard saying quite loudly, ‘It is not working’ and ‘Please stop it’ in answer to Sonya’s pleas that ‘life must go on’. He reportedly also said, ‘I could be at home watching television,’ but later apologised profusely, claiming he had briefly fallen asleep, and the words were muttered unwittingly as he woke up, confused.Richard Griffiths
In 2005, the unrivalled master of the theatrical dressing-down asked a woman to leave after her phone kept ringing during his performance of Heroes at the Wyndham’s Theatre, adding that the rest of the audience should sue her – people clapped as she left. He did it again when a phone rang during The History Boys at the National, delivering the killer line: ‘I am asking you to stand up, leave this auditorium and never, ever come back.’ The offender skulked off in shame, but it later transpired he was deaf and had not heard it ringing.HOW TO HAVE A TANTRUM
Modern Manners columnist Thomas Blaikie reveals the art of a great outburst...Loss of temper, especially if accompanied by (horror of horrors) swearing, is classed as unspeakable behaviour in our peculiar age. ‘Abuse!’ we cry – that dog-eared word.
Nowadays, we are mostly required to be even, fair, nonjudgemental; we must read personal-growth books. We mustn’t shout at anybody, not even our own children.
But really! How dare some hooligan drummers disrupt Helen Mirren? Why was nothing done sooner? Were the authorities mimsying about, impotently whining, ‘Best not get involved’?
And what courage of the Dame to forge out and berate them. A bit of colourful carryon is just what we need in this homogenised age.
On the whole, however, you probably won’t get anywhere if you lose your temper. Sadly, a few restrained words are usually more lethal than a foam-flecked tirade. Don’t be afraid, though, to utterly condemn the behaviour of others in certain circumstances – making excessive noise in a public place is just plain wrong. There’s no other point of view to be considered.
Those skilled in losing their tempers also know when to stop. They climb down graciously. You should always apologise, as Dame Helen Mirren has done, then carry on as if nothing has happened.
Ideally, a great bond will have been forged with your victim. You become ragingly intimate as would not otherwise have happened. Somehow you’ve given a flash of your inner being, and they know they’ve hurt you and are sorry. So Dame Helen appeared the next day in a ‘top’ promoting the drummers, saying she loved them… an outburst with a happy ending.