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NOT SEEN, AND DEFINITELY NOT TO BE HEARD

Posted by Nanny Knows Best
Nanny Knows Best
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on Monday, 04 November 2013
I had a flashback recently whilst discussing the nocturnal habits of a four-year-old with her sleep deprived mother.

I am not old enough to have experienced the era of silent and invisible children. The “Upstairs Downstairs” custom of the prim nanny hidden away in the nursery with the children whose exposure to their parents was a scheduled visit according to mother and father’s diaries.

There is good reason this belief is now no longer deemed healthy, nor beneficial for a child’s wellbeing. However, it seems that certain elements linger in some homes even today.

Little Miss K had trouble settling to sleep, exhausting the entire household and often could only doze off when someone lay by her side. This regularly resulted in that someone also falling asleep, and then stumbling out, eyes squinting in the light.

Later came the wandering into the parental bed during the wee hours. Or the hysterics when taken back to her own room. More stress and less slumber for all. Grumpy children, irritable adults and weeks of fatigue.

In desperation mum called in The Expert. Thousands of pounds forked out for suggestions, one of which was to fix a lock on Miss K’s bedroom door.

Call me old fashioned, actually, NO, call me compassionate. I would have issues if a bolt was on my door too. Sign me up immediately for therapy.

So I cannot imagine the trauma for a child. And I cannot comprehend a rational explanation for subjecting a child, let alone any human, to being locked up. Incarceration is for criminals in prisons and not for impressionable souls with little understanding of the impact of their behaviour.

A child’s disruptive behaviour is generally the outcome of either something troubling in their lives or a stage of development. Change. So take the opportunity, AND TIME to work through the situation.

Listen. Be consistent, firm, patient. There are no quick fixes. A child deserves your attention and love. Show her with your words and actions that she is loved and secure. This is one of her first life lessons in change, so it is as much of a learning experience as it is a good night’s sleep for all.



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